I stopped to pick up David at pre-school one day and the teachers informed me that they had not had a very good day. Seems as though David, for some reason, got mad at his best friend and hit him. Things apparently deteriorated from there. David and I, after stopping in to tell his mother what had happened, headed home for a little father and son “talk.” I asked him how he thought his friend felt. David simply replied, “Sad.” And how does David feel? “Sad.” I explained to him that no matter what happens, you don’t hit a friend.
This brought to mind a conversation I had recently had with a friend who attended another congregation. My friend was going through a very tough time in her life and had made some brave, yet difficult, decisions. She was a faithful Christian woman whose only desire in life was to serve God and help bring as many people to Christ as possible. This she was doing with great sacrifice! She went to an elder of the congregation where she attended seeking help and support, but she left feeling let down and frustrated. It was as if she had been hit by a friend.
I have heard of brethren who are afraid of and/or intimidated by their elders. These men certainly are not the caring shepherds the Bible describes, but abusive friends. They lord over Christ’s body, instead of caring for the needs of their physical and spiritual health. What are they thinking? The Bible makes it clear that they will have to answer for the souls that have been entrusted to their care. Notice carefully what the Hebrew writer says, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17). Now notice that we are to obey them. But not if they are not watching out for our souls with joy and guiding us as loving shepherds. An elder should look at each member of the church as he would his own mother or father, son or daughter. Paul said, “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5).
But this principle is not something unique or limited to elders. Preachers, Bible Class teachers, deacons, and every other Christian can be just as unloving, unkind, and unfriendly. Consider the fact that we as brethren in Christ are to have the same care one for another (1 Corinthians 12:25). When Paul wrote to the church at Philippi he said he was sending Timothy because there was “no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state” (Philippians 2:20).
Consider the story of the “Good Samaritan.” Here we have the quintessential example of the kind of care we should have for everyone, especially those brothers and sisters in Christ (Galatians 6:10). The man of Samaria was not concerned about the time he lost, the money it cost, the danger he might encounter, or the reputation or image that might be portrayed. He only was worried about the good of someone else. God did the same thing by sending His Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). Christ did the same thing by leaving us an example for us to follow (1 Peter 2:21). Each of us as brothers, sister, children of God, and friends need to remember, “You don’t hit a friend.” Be faithful!