Heart of the Matter: Pretty on the Inside
[In this column I hope to share with you what I hope to instill in the hearts of my own children and those whom I love.]
Are you beautiful? You can be.
For three short years, things were going smoothly. God had blessed our family with two healthy boys, and our floors were littered with balls, plastic dinosaur figurines, cars, trains, and castles. I truly believed I had this parenting thing under control. Then my little “princess” was born, and oh, how my life changed.
In the blink of an eye, I began to look at everything from a different perspective. Everything from clothes, television programs, dating, and even marriage was immediately placed under a more powerful microscope. (In fact, prearranged marriages are looking really good right now!) The pressure on young girls to be “pretty” has reached epic proportions in our society. Magazines, television, and movies are constantly bombarding our children with the idea of what is “beautiful.” Ultra-thin models are paraded around as if they were the normal standard for beauty. This constant clamoring for external beauty has even caused many Christian parents to put too much emphasis on physical looks. While society does its best to promote a worldly view of what is attractive, as a parent I realize the importance of teaching a biblical view of beauty.
Here’s what I intend on teaching my children about true beauty—even my two-year old daughter who is already learning to be “pretty on the inside”:
If you try to live up to the world’s standard of beauty, you will lead a very unhappy life. There will always be someone out there who has a prettier complexion, better hair, or is younger looking. You can spend a great deal of time and energy trying to make yourself more attractive—even to the point of surgeries or botox injections. But none of these procedures, potions, or creams will make you beautiful in the eyes of God. I do hope you will learn to be happy and confident in the external “shell” God has given you on this Earth, but never forget that God does not look at external appearances. One day your current “shell” will be replaced with an incorruptible one (1 Corinthians 15:42). While the mainstream media wants you to believe otherwise, external beauty is fleeting and not important to Almighty God.
Without a doubt, you will meet many individuals who are very pretty on the outside—but some of these same individuals will be very unattractive on the inside. Without going to the extremes of surgery we can’t do much to alter our external looks, but every one of us can make sure that our “inside” is beautiful and very attractive to people. In 1 Samuel 16:7 we read: “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” Simply put, God wants you to be pretty on the inside.
How do we make ourselves pretty on the inside? We cultivate the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) in our hearts. We develop a sincere love for people and their souls (Matthew 22:39; 28:19-20). We need to esteem others higher than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4). We make sure that people know we are individuals who value integrity and honesty. We are vigilant about what we allow into our minds (Philippians 4:8). And, we remember that it is the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God (1 Peter 3:4).
It’s my desire that you grow into Christians whom your friends know they can trust, individuals who are respected for their stand for the Truth. I pray that you will cultivate the skill of genuinely listening to others and trying to help when you can. I pray that you will learn to be givers instead of takers. And I hope that you will surround yourselves with individuals with whom you can learn and laugh. If you are able to accomplish some of these key ingredients, then almost everyone you come into contact with will identify you as a beautiful person indeed.
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The day will come when you begin looking for a mate. Your mother and I have been praying for that special person for many years. As you search for that special person to share your life with, I pray that you will find someone who is beautiful on the inside—and someone who will help you get to Heaven. Do I want you to be attracted to their physical appearance? Sure—but I’ve been around long enough to know that those looks will one day fade away. That smooth skin and beautiful hair will one day give way to wrinkles and a new shade of gray. That’s when you will treasure the importance of finding someone who is beautiful on the inside.
I hope that in the coming years people who meet you will stop in their tracks and say out loud or to themselves—“Wow, that person is extremely attractive…on the inside.”
Love, Dad