Offending and Being Offended (Part 1)

The word “offence” is used in the KJV of the Bible in one form or another some 73 different times. Out of those occurrences, 23 are found in the Old Testament and 50 in the New Testament. In the New Testament, the vast majority of these instances are from a word which means to cause another to stumble. Sometimes the word refers to clear cut cases where sin is involved (cf. Matthew 13:41, Romans 4:25, Romans 16:17). Sometimes the word refers to offences that cannot be avoided due to preaching God’s truth (cf. Matthew 13:57, 15:12, John 6:61, Galatians 5:11, 1 Peter 2:8). Sometimes the word refers to matters of personal preference that others believe to be sinful (Romans 14:20,21, 1 Corinthians 8:13, 10:32). Basically, the word means to cause another to be upset or troubled through either our words or our actions whether justified or not. The definition, however, is not the problem; we generally know when we have been offended. The question we need to ask is: what do we need to do when we offend and are offended? In this week’s article we will look at the subject of offending others and in next week’s article we will look at being offended by others.

First, it ought to be mentioned that the Christian is going to live his life in a way to try to unnecessarily avoid offending others. This principle is found in Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” The Christian’s desire is to be at peace with all so that God’s truth may be taught and Christ seen in his life and this involves avoiding any actions or words that would unnecessarily offend others. Paul wrote, “Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed” (2 Corinthians 6:3). This is also the underlying principle behind avoiding actions that cause someone else to do something that they believe is sinful. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:32, “Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God.” In the context of these passages the offence is a matter of personal preferences that would cause any individual to sin or reject the gospel. Certainly we never ought to allow our own personal tastes to hinder one from being saved! So, the Christian must live in a way that avoids unnecessary offences.

Second, it is quite impossible to live the life of a Christian and not offend someone by doing that which is right! There is no wholesale prohibition in the scriptures to ever offend anyone regardless of what the circumstance is. In fact, the scriptures presume that many are going to be offended by the teaching and preaching of the gospel. Jesus offended people by telling them the truth (Matthew 13:57, 15:12); Jesus even offended his own disciples (John 6:61)! Yet not once did Jesus apologize for telling the truth. In fact, in Matthew 15:12, after his disciples told him that the Pharisees had been offended by him, he said, “Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up. Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch” (Matthew 15:13-14). The Christian ought not to be concerned about offending someone because he is teaching or preaching the truth so long as that truth is being taught in love (Ephesians 4:15).

Third, another cold and hard fact is that we are going to say or do something wrong that causes someone else to be offended. James wrote, “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (James 3:2). In this case, when we commit sin and do something wrong, it ought to be obvious that we ought to apologize and ask for forgiveness both from God and the one whom we offended (see 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16).

It ought to be the hallmark of the Christian life that very few are offended with him, even of those who are opposed to the teaching of the gospel. Let us make this our aim and put into practice a life void of offence. When we do offend, let’s make sure that we quickly recognize it and make the appropriate corrections.

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Offending and Being Offended (Part 2)

Last week we noted that an offence is when we cause someone to be upset or troubled through our actions or words whether justified or not. We also noted the following: 1) we ought to live lives void of offence to others; 2) it is impossible to live the Christian life without offending someone; 3) we will, sometime in our life, wrongfully offend someone. We then noted that the Christian will make appropriate amends upon inappropriately offending someone.

This week, we’re going to look at the other side of the coin: what to do when we are offended. The Christian will not find himself only offending, but also being offended. It is equally important that we understand how we are to behave when we are offended as when we offend.

Perhaps the first question that we need to ask is this: ought we to be offended? There is a difference between an objective sin (one that is against God) and a matter of personal preference wherein one is offended. If the offence is merely a matter of opinion, then one need not necessarily take offence at such personal matters. One may, in that regard, simply overlook such things and move on.

When I was a boy, my parents would wrap Christmas presents just from “Santa” in brown paper. This had a tremendous effect upon me as a child and I remember being so thrilled to see those presents wrapped in brown paper. I decided to do that with my children. Then, one year on Christmas morning, one of our relatives commented on the “ugly brown paper.” I was offended. How could this relative be so insensitive as to not understand how precious my childhood “Santa” presents were? Then I realized that this relative had no idea about my childhood. So I did nothing. It wasn’t worth discussing. It was merely a personal preference in the first place and didn’t need to be brought up. I “forgave” this person and moved on. There are, however, some things which ought to lastingly offend the Christian.

The Christian ought to be offended at sin. Why? Sin offends God (Psalm 51:4). Sin is the tool of Satan to tempt men to do evil (Matthew 4:1) and evil is offensive. The Christian has the obligation to stand against sin and Satan and fight (Ephesians 6:11, 13). Are we lovers of God or lovers of men (Galatians 1:10)? If we love God, then we will be offended at sin.

The Christian also ought to be offended with those who are not offended at sin. Consider Romans 1:32; according to that verse, those who consent to sin are just as worthy of the same punishment as those who sin. The problem with many in our society today is that they have stopped being offended at sin. When that happens, they also stop fighting it. And when they stop fighting it, they succumb to it. There is a popular saying attributed to Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” To do something, we must first be offended.

The Christian ought to be offended at those who commit sin and would cause him to commit sin (Romans 16:17, Revelation 2:14). This is not to say that we hate the individual person who does the sinning, but rather, that the sin that he does is repugnant to us. John tells us who the real culprit is, “He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning�.” (1 John 3:8). Satan is behind all sin, but some are caught in his lies. Our response should be to hate the sin but love the sinner (Galatians 6:1).

So, what do we do when we are offended? If the offence is a matter of personal preference, then the best course of action is to do nothing. If the matter is of the sort where personal liberties are involved, we follow Paul’s advice in Romans 14. For offences that involve sin, when one has been sinned against privately, Jesus told us what to do in Matthew 18:15-17. If the sin is a matter of public record, we follow 1 Corinthians 5. If the offence is disputed and we have spoken that which is right, then we take Peter’s advice in 1 Peter 2:23, commit the matter to the Righteous Judge, and suffer silently. However, in all of these matters, we need to be practicing self examination constantly to ensure our own heart is right before the Lord (Matthew 7:1-5, 2 Corinthians 13:5).

It is not necessarily wrong to offend nor is it necessarily wrong to be offended, but it could be either way. They key to understanding when to act and when to keep silent depends upon the offence that has been committed. Let us learn to approach such situations as the Lord would and act according to what His word teaches.

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Munchausen’s Syndrome

Have you ever heard of the Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus Freiherr von Munchhausen? He was a German army cavalry officer who was born in Bodenwerder (Germany) and lived from 1720-1797, but so far as we know, he never accomplished any great or notable feat worthy of historical fame. So why is the good Baron famous? Not for what he did, but for what he didn’t do. You see, Baron Munchhausen was a story teller; after he returned home from war he told his town the most fantastic stories that any had ever been imagined such as riding cannon balls and flying to the moon. His name was commandeered in 1785 and placed upon a collection of tall tales loosely based on his stories written by a man named Rudolf Eric Raspe and published in London. Many assumed the tales to be perpetrated by the Baron and his reputation for telling “the whopper” just became more grandiose. Today, the most famous use of his name occurs in the field of medicine. Munchausen’s Syndrome is the name given to individuals who lie about and fake medical symptoms merely to gain medical attention. It’s today classified as a mental disorder.

Do we want to stay sick? I was sick this past week with some kind of a virus. I don’t know if it was the flu or something else, but there was one thing I knew; I didn’t really WANT to be sick! However, people who have Munchausen’s Syndrome not only want to be sick, but, and as odd as it sounds, they like being sick. These people aren’t sick (physically), but they want to be sick in order to get attention from someone else. The truth of the matter is that it is NOT good to be sick and society recognizes that people who WANT to be sick and who will lie and fake illnesses in order to be perceived as being sick have a mental problem.

Spiritually speaking, there are many people today who want to be sick. They want to be sick so that they can get attention from God. They think that if they stay sick, that God will keep on healing them. This is why Paul asked the question that he asked in Romans 6:1, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?” The answer is in verse 2: “God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” The very idea of embracing the very thing that separated us from God to begin with simply because we believe that it will merit more of God’s grace is repugnant. Yet there are many, some knowingly and some unknowingly, who cling to this belief. They may sin during the week and then say, “Oh, I go to confession on Sunday” or they may say that they will repent Sunday morning only to turn around the next week and commit the same sins again. Some operate under the delusion of once saved always saved thinking that they can sin because they can’t do anything to lose their salvation. Such false doctrines are contrary to the plain teaching of scripture.

Consider Hebrews 10:26-27; it says, “For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.” Those who sin willfully no longer have the benefit of the blood of Christ and can expect God’s wrath and judgment. John also writes in 1 John 3:8a “Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning” (ESV). It is those who deliberately and willfully continue to practice sin that are of the devil.

God doesn’t want us to be sick with sin. God doesn’t want us to persist in the sickness of sin. God wants us to be cured from the sickness of sin. We can be cured from sin sickness if we trust in God’s word and stop practicing sin. God expects us to repent of our sins; that means we have to change our life and stop practicing sin. That doesn’t mean that we will be perfect; but we don’t have to be perfect to stop making sin a regular deliberate and purposeful habit. Good medical doctor’s who learn that someone has Munchausen’s Syndrome will refuse to give them treatment. So also God will not treat those who persist in sin under the delusion that He will forgive them regardless of how they behave and act.

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Walking in Darkness

Have you ever tried to walk in the dark? I do it frequently because of having to get up during the night. I also usually walk in the dark for a few moments after everyone has gone to bed when I turn out the lights. When I do walk in the dark, I don’t run; I don’t even walk confidently. I’m usually feeling around with my hands and arms trying to identify objects that are where I know they should be. I walk very gingerly making sure of my steps before I put my feet flat on the floor (you never know when there is going to be a small metal toy car there, and while they aren’t that big, they sure hurt when you step on them without any shoes on). Then, after I am sure of my step, I’ll put that foot down and pick the other one up. I’m also very careful to make sure that I know where furniture and other objects are so that I don’t stub my toe or bang an arm. Even when you know what the basic layout of the house is and where the furniture is located, walking in the dark is at best, difficult. It is so much easier to just turn on the light and walk in confidence.

Picture yourself, however, in unfamiliar territory and with no light whatsoever. I once found myself in such a situation when touring a cave. My family and I went to explore a part of the cave that the guide thought had water in it (but it didn’t). He went another direction and said that he would meet us. We were almost happily at the junction when he turned off the lights on us! It was completely and totally dark. Being as tall as I am, I immediately got down on my knees so as not to bump my head on the roof. Then, I began groping around in the dark to feel for my wife and kids who were near by. (The kids could hear me, but my wife couldn’t, as she is deaf.) What did we do? We started yelling for the guide to turn the lights back on! He eventually did and we got out of the cave safely, but it was an experience to shake one’s confidence that I will never forget.

Why would someone want to walk in darkness? Physically, it just doesn’t make any sense unless one is forced into it. Spiritually, however, many desire it on a regular basis. In Ecclesiastes 2:14a we read, “The wise man’s eyes are in his head; but the fool walketh in darkness.” It is foolish to walk in darkness. I suppose if someone wanted to be foolish, they would walk in darkness. In Isaiah 59:9, we read, “Therefore is judgment far from us, neither doth justice overtake us: we wait for light, but behold obscurity; for brightness, but we walk in darkness.” The person who does not desire to have justice and judgment in his life desires to walk in darkness. In Proverbs 2:12 we read, “Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness.” Those who don’t desire righteousness walk in darkness. Regarding the wicked in Psalm 82:5 we read, “They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.” Those who are ignorant desire to walk in darkness. John writes in 1 John 1:6 “If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth.” To claim fellowship with God while practicing evil is walking in darkness. Hypocrites desire to walk in darkness. Desiring to walk in spiritual darkness doesn’t exactly put one in good company. It just doesn’t make any sense to do so.

In John 12:35 we read “Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.” The metaphor is so appropriate. We know how difficult it is to walk in the dark. We know how pleasant it is to walk in the light. We know the difference between darkness and light! Is the same not true for truth? As far as truth goes, Jesus is the light of the world. If we follow Jesus’ example and teaching, then we will walk in the light and what a pleasant and wonderful experience it will be! However, if we fail to follow Jesus’ example and teaching, then we will grope in the darkness and what a miserable and awful experience that will be! In the light we have confidence, joy, direction, faith and progress. In the dark we have timidity, fear, confusion, doubt, and regression. Jesus said in John 8:12 “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” We’ve seen how dangerous it is to walk in darkness. We’ve seen how invigorating it is to walk in the light. Now, in what path will I walk today? Darkness? Or Light? As for me, I’m keeping the light on.

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Unthankful

Romans 1:21 “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.”

One of the hallmark traits of those who would reject God in their knowledge is that they become unthankful. It was, therefore, with great interest that I read from the Disaster Relief Effort News a report that according to an article by David Streitfeld of the Los Angeles Times, Katrina relief workers say, “We don’t want any more used clothing.” The article goes on to say, “There is also a moral component: Just because someone is homeless doesn’t mean he or she should be wearing hand-me-downs.” Is there something wrong with saying, “We don’t want any more used clothing”? Not if one has enough. But to say, “We don’t want any more used clothing because used clothing isn’t good enough” and “it is morally wrong to expect someone to wear used clothing” is completely unacceptable. My mother used to have a saying, “Beggars can’t be choosers.” It’s really a fact of life. If one is in need and someone offers something to them that satisfies that need, then one ought to be thankful for having that need satisfied. To complain and say, “This isn’t new so I’m not going to wear it” is simply being unthankful.

Now, I’m certainly not talking about used clothing that is worn out. If clothing is old and unusable then obviously one ought not to expect another person to accept it; it would defeat the whole purpose. However, if the clothing is in good condition and can be worn, then why would one turn one’s nose up to such? Let us consider the many people who shop garage sales and purchase used clothing on a regular basis. If used clothing is good enough for them, then shouldn’t it be good enough for those who are homeless? Consider also those who shop at stores such as “Good Will” or some other thrift type store. If the clothing in those stores is good enough for them to purchase, then why wouldn’t it be good enough for someone who is homeless to accept? Certainly, it would be. So what causes people to have such an attitude of unthankfulness? The fact of the matter is that there are many in this nation who are spoiled. They simply won’t accept used clothing when they ought to be thankful that they have someone who cares enough about them to give them something.

I make no exception for myself. On occasion I purchase new clothing, if the price is right. However, I don’t turn my nose up to used clothing simply because it is used. There have, on occasion, been several who have given me used suits or other clothing that I can use. I go through it; if it is my size, then I will wear it. If not, then I try to find someone else who can wear it. I’m thankful for those brethren who consider me in that regard. I’m also thankful for those who give old children’s clothing to me. Some have recently done that. But were I to say to them, “I’m sorry, but your used clothing isn’t good enough for me”, then I would be no better than those who made the statement above. There is nothing immoral about expecting someone who is looking for clothing to accept used clothing! So there is certainly nothing immoral about expecting someone who is homeless to accept used clothing!

I dare say that any individual who came out of the depression would have turned their nose up at used clothing. Those individuals knew what it took in order to survive. Not only did they accept used clothing, but any scrap of cloth upon which they could get their hands. They used that cloth to stitch together clothing that would work. They were thankful for every single bit they could get. Why? Because they knew that they may not have the opportunity to get a bit the next day. What would this generation say regarding the generation that turned down what they valued? They would rise up and call them by what they are, unthankful!

What does the rest of the Romans chapter one say about those who are unthankful? “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and four footed beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves�” (Romans 1:22-24) Are we, in this country, not currently fulfilling the exact same words as the Gentiles of old? Awake to righteousness, dear friend.

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