They Shared the Practice

They Shared the Practice

It was a very special family until the death of the most important member of the family. The circumstance surrounding his death was something that the family would never forget. They had shared a meal with him just hours before he died. They decided that they would continue a family practice which been part of their lives for so many years. They decided that once a week they would get together and share his favorite choice for dinner and talk about him. As they grew older, they even taught their children about him. That weekly meal together seemed to be the catalyst that kept them together.

After a while, circumstances began to change that meal together. Some could no longer come to the meal, so they decided that that would use their laptops and virtually the family could still come together. While they could not be at the meal, they would make his special meal and they could “sorta” be there. Their work situations changed often, so when the family came together, they would eat his dinner but would record the meeting so that those who worked could still be part of the gathering, even though they were not there physically. Those who could not come even prepared that special dinner and ate it as they watched others eat. That plan seemed to work for a while, but you can guess what happened.

Over a period of several months, the lives of those who were watching the family eat began to change. It was just not the same as sitting around the family table and talking about him. It did not happen all at once but the interest of those who could not come began to diminish. It was just not the same. They were doing what they once all did together, but it was just not the same. There was something about sharing together the memory of the family member who died that could not be duplicated using a laptop. The idea seemed good, but it was just different. The family was not as close as it once had been.

In a similar way, there once was a spiritual family of God who came together and shared a common meal remembering the One family member who died. They sang songs together about His life and every week remembered Him together. The hearts of all of them were stirred as they learned by experience what actually happened as they all spoke together to each other in songs about Jesus. They really felt a closeness of fellowship and sharing as this happened. It was the same feeling they had as they gave or shared the joy of seeing someone baptized.

Then covid hit. That family tried to use the internet but there is such a difference in sharing in worship and watching others worship. Think about it. Is there something you need to change in how you worship because of covid?

Posted in Dan Jenkins | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on They Shared the Practice

Recovering from Spiritual Narcissism 2

Recovering from Spiritual Narcissism 2

A spiritual narcissist uses religion and spirituality to justify his sinful desires instead of using it to take ownership of his life as God intended. One technique he uses to accomplish this is applying the scriptures mainly to others instead of self. When listening to a sermon, he will not think about making changes in his life. Instead, he mentally lists people that he desires to change: family, friends, neighbors, church members. He will not talk directly to them because that would risk exposing his hypocrisy as they can see his life much clearer than he can. He cannot see clearly his own life since he is blinded by desires to justify his behavior. So, he makes a passive-aggressive plan to “correct” them. He may ask the preacher to teach on a specific topic, talk to the elders, inform some “authority,” or gossip about their behavior. This only serves to reinforce his narcissism because he has “done something” about the perceived problem, and now feels self-justified.

Why does he do this? This behavior permits him to focus on others’ lives instead of his own. His judgmental attitude is “justified” because he is allegedly doing God’s work. He reasons: God wants us to tell other people what the scriptures say, right? It is true that God wants us to talk to others about the scriptures, but we must be “poor in spirit” in our attitude (Matthew 5:3). The spiritual narcissist does not have this attitude, and so he twists the scriptures to his own destruction (2 Peter 3:16), as he applies the scriptures to others while seeking to justify his own sinful behavior. To change, he must first recognize his own spiritual poverty. This will cause him to focus on his own sin instead of others.

Everyone knows that person who wallows in self-pity. Ask them how they are doing, and their response is “I’m OK, I guess.” That “I guess,” is their telling you that they really aren’t OK. When you ask what is wrong, they say, “Oh, nothing.” They don’t want to talk about it because they might end their self-pity, a lifestyle that if given up would mean having to take ownership of their life and not have an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. Self-pity is a victim mentality.

These justify their behavior by saying, “We all have our own crosses to bear,” or “Jesus was a suffering servant.” They think that they must pay for the sins of the world, or, at least, their own sins, through the pain and suffering that they endure. “No one understands,” they say, because they don’t want anyone to understand since that would unmask their behavior. This is narcissism because their thoughts are centered on the self, and the self’s perceived terrible burdens. Their life is valued and validated by problems!

To recover from this thinking, we must 1) understand that Jesus paid for all sins, and that we pay for none. Life is not punishment for our sins! 2) We must shift from a “have to” mentality to a “want to” mentality. When we feel like everything is being forced on us, we feel sorry for ourselves, but when we want to act, it is our choice. 3) We must count our blessings every day. Focusing on blessings will take the mind away from thoughts of self-pity. 4) We must understand that life is great! “This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Let go of self-pity and live for Jesus!

A narcissist, who is also passive aggressive, will rarely ever confront someone directly because he does not want to change and take ownership of his problems; it is much easier to blame others. He likely learned this behavior from his parents who also wouldn’t take ownership and blamed others. When he tried to talk about a problem, they deflected it. So, he learned not to communicate his desires directly. Instead, he pouted or used the “silent treatment” until his parents gave him what he wanted. However, if he talked to dad about mom and vice versa, he got sympathy. He played the two against each other. He was rewarded for his passive-aggressive behavior. This practice of not taking responsibility, blaming others, and manipulating them into giving him what he wanted continued into adulthood.

A narcissistic passive-aggressive Christian will use these techniques to get his way in the church. He won’t talk directly to those with whom he has conflict; he will talk to everyone else and stir up a “fuss.” He may complain to the preacher, deacons, or elders who may enable him by shielding him from confrontation because they are narcissistic and passive-aggressive too. This behavior never resolves real issues, and it stifles church growth. The narcissist gets what he wants without having to take ownership of his problems. This is sinful behavior and ignores Jesus’ clear teaching in Matthew 18:15: “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” The narcissist doesn’t want to follow Jesus’ instructions because he may not get what he wants, and he may have to take ownership of his problems, but Jesus is right, and he is wrong.

Part 1 – https://churchofchristarticles.com/administrator/notes-from-a-recovering-narcissist/

Posted in Kevin Cauley | Tagged , | Comments Off on Recovering from Spiritual Narcissism 2

Playing by the Rules

Playing by the Rules

A friend of mine, who is a member of the church in another town, talked me into signing up to be an official (“referee”) for high school football. So, I signed up and am having a lot of fun with it. There are many rules to the game of football. (I have a whole book to prove it.) Those rules are what make the game worth watching. When the teams play according to the rules, everyone has an enjoyable experience – the fans, the players, the coaches, the officials. It’s when the players don’t play by the rules that the game becomes taxing. Think back to your childhood for a minute when you or one of your friends decided to make the rules instead of having an objective standard of play for everyone. Basically what happens is that your “game” devolves into a shouting match and free-for-all. No one knows what is happening anymore, and people stop playing because it is too confusing.Football Rules

The same thing can happen with religion. The Bible gives us a set of “rules,” if you will, (they are really commandments) that we should follow so that we may have unity. When we don’t follow the Lord’s “rules” then we create disunity, we have shouting matches, and people stop “playing” because of the confusion. So many today want to do whatever they want in religion, and this is what creates the difficulties. Instead of seeking to please ourselves, we ought to be seeking to please God. The apostle Paul wrote, “Finally then, brethren, we urge and exhort in the Lord Jesus that you should abound more and more, just as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God” (1 Thessalonians 4:1). This ought to be our aim while playing the “game of life.”

Posted in Kevin Cauley | Tagged , | Comments Off on Playing by the Rules

Let the Holy Spirit Change You

Let the Holy Spirit Change You

How the Holy Spirit changes us from our former life into a mirror image of Jesus is misunderstood by so many. The Bible nowhere teaches that the Spirit works directly on our hearts to make me a more spiritual person. The Spirit does change us, and the Bible clearly shows how this happens.

It is true that the Spirit is part of our walk with the Lord. It is true our growth as a child of God involves change and Paul describes it this way: “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed” (Rom. 12:2). The words that follow the word “transformed” show how this is done. It is not done simply by submitting to the Spirit, but it involves “the renewing of your minds.” The Spirit is involved in this renewal, but we are not passively waiting for it to happen. So few really understand how the Spirit is involved.

Paul describes the renewal in his second letter to the church at Corinth. “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (10:4-5). Look carefully at what is said. The way we win the battle against evil involves casting down the “arguments” of Satan we confront using the knowledge of God and changing our thoughts. We are actively involved in bringing all thoughts to submission through obedience to Jesus. We are not passive as this change happens. We control our thoughts, and we are the ones who use the knowledge of His will. We actively are determined to obey His will.

Paul’s letter to Titus speaks of this in these words: “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit” (Tit. 3:5). In Romans, he says we are transformed by the renewal of our minds, and in this book, he says the Holy Spirit is part of that renewal.

However, the clearest description of the Spirit’s work in changing us is found in the last verse of 2 Corinthians 3. We come to the Bible as one comes to a mirror with our hearts open and submissive to God. In the Bible we see the image of Jesus. We are “…beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” We see His glory. This is how the Spirit transforms us in the glory of Jesus to become like Him.

Do you want the Holy Spirit to transform you? It will never happen unless you actively study Jesus’ words and make His words your words. There is no transformation by the Spirit without diligent study of the Bible!

Posted in Dan Jenkins | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Let the Holy Spirit Change You

Forever / Ever or Forever / Never

Forever / Ever or Forever / Never

The words of our eternal God are forever true. He cannot lie. Whenever He decrees a matter, no mortal can ever change it. David affirmed this truth when he said, “Forever, O Lord, Your word is firmly fixed in the heavens” (Psa. 119:98, ESV). We should not be surprised that the phrase “forever and ever” is found forty-seven times in the Bible.

There is another way to look at the eternal nature of the truths of God. Instead of looking where He said forever/ever, consider some of those times when He said “forever/never.”

When Noah came out of the ark, God made a covenant with Noah, his sons, all mankind and even the living creatures on the earth. “I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh” (Gen. 9:15). His “never” promise shows that the flood in Noah’s day was a universal, one-time event, which shall never be repeated.

God uses the word “never” in reference to nations. He said that when Babylon was destroyed it would never be inhabited again (Isa. 13:10). He looked at the splendor of Tyre and said, “You shall never be rebuilt” (Ezek. 26:14). The ruins of these cities show how God’s word can be trusted.

Ancient history shows the grandeur of Egypt. Those pyramids stand today as evidence of the wisdom and wealth of Egypt. However, our God then uses the word “never” to describe what has happened to this magnificent culture. “It shall be the lowliest of kingdoms; it shall never again exalt itself above the nations” (Ezek. 29:25).

When Daniel interpreted the dream of Nebuchadnezzar, he describes in great detail four world kingdoms and says that in that fourth kingdom (the Romans), “the God of heaven will set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed” (Dan. 2:44). Jesus came and established that kingdom, the church, and the fact that this same kingdom is on the earth day shows how much we can trust the words of our eternal God.

Finally, look at how God describes the destiny of the wicked. His use of the words “no rest” coupled with the words “forever and ever” have the same force as using the word “never.” “And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast” (Rev. 14:11). These eternal words of God should be part of the souls of every person on this earth.

Thank God who gives us both forever/ever and also forever/never affirmations of His eternal, unchanging truths which build our faith and mold our lives. Thank God that He has said, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).

Posted in Dan Jenkins | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Forever / Ever or Forever / Never