Church of Christ Articles

Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Heb. 13:4)

In our text, the Bible says there is such a thing as honorable marriage. “Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled.” By contrast to this honorable estate, there is that which is dishonorable: “But fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” We are not unfamiliar with the context of sexual sin in our society. In fact, just this past week we have been deluged with a number of news stories on this topic. There is the scandal that is occurring at Penn State University, where the head coach Joe Paterno and the President were fired because they covered up the alleged rape of a 10-year-old boy by one of the coaches at the university. There is the ongoing story of Kim Kardashian, who decided after 72 days of marriage that she had had enough! And summarily is now divorcing her estranged husband.

But perhaps the news of greatest import – that will affect us the most – was that which took place on Thursday (November 10th, 2011). The United States Senate Judiciary Committee voted to pass along a bill that is labeled the Respect for Marriage Act to the rest of the Senate. This particular bill will repeal a bill known as the Defense of Marriage Act, which stated that the definition of marriage would be between one man and one woman, other arrangements in marriage will not be acknowledged by the Federal Government, and they will not receive any Federal support. That law was passed in 1996 before any of the states in the Union began to acknowledge other arrangements, such as two men or two women, as marriages. Now the Democrats in the Senate Judiciary Committee have all voted for this so-called “Respect for Marriage Act,” and have decided that they are going to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which means that the Federal Government will no longer limit its support to one man and one woman marriages, but rather marriage will be opened up to two men or two women, or whatever—whatever a state decides is going to be marriage.

And so a line has been drawn in the sand in our society today in regard to this topic. This line is in regard to the institution of marriage as we know it – we who know what God’s standard for marriage ought to be. This is an issue that is going to affect everyone—and is affecting everyone—just as the abortion issue affected everyone in the 1970s. And the question is now this: How will we as Christians react to this challenge?

Normally I would not ask our members to call senators or representatives, or anything of that matter, because many of the things that the Senate and the House of Representatives decide have no or little impact upon the morality of our society (although the list is growing); but that is not the case with this particular piece of legislation. If this Act passes, this will subsequently force all of the states in the Union to recognize homosexual marriages by virtue of the fact that the supreme lawmaking body of the land, the Congress of the United States, will thereby have recognized such marriages.

We want to look at what the Bible has to say about that which is defined as an “honorable marriage.” And, we know that marriage is honorable when (1) God says it is honorable and not what man says, (2) it respects God’s pattern for marriage as set forth within the scriptures, and (3) it is not being used to legitimize fornication or adultery, or any other kind of dishonorable activity such as that. So let’s notice these three things; and at the conclusion of our lesson, I would like to point out some consequences of where these things could go. I would also like to discuss some statements that others have made who want such laws to pass in our nation.

1. Marriage is honorable when God says it is honorable. Marriage is a holy and a sanctified institution. It was begun and ordained by God in Genesis 1:27 and it is recognized in chapter five and verse two. Marriage is said in the book of Genesis to be between Adam and Eve. “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” Adam said when he was married to Eve. This was done in the creation—all the way back to the beginning—that time is when marriage was instituted. And marriage has been carried through to the age of Christ. If you will note in Matthew 19:4-5, Jesus harks back to the beginning when He speaks of marriage: “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh?” So God’s standards for marriage were there in the beginning and they are here now, in the age of Christ. And regardless of how man may define marriage, we must define marriage as God defines it.

There was, several years ago, a push for a marriage amendment to the Constitution so that marriage was between one man and one woman would be constitutional. I am still for that amendment; we are hoping that that can take place sometime in the future. We must ask, however, what if the situation was reversed? What if this so-called Respect for Marriage Act passes the Senate and is subsequently passed by the House and then goes to the President for his signature and the President signs it? Does that mean that all of the sudden, because the Senate and the Legislature and the Congress and the President so defined it – does that mean that marriage is between a man and a man or a woman and a woman, or that it may be between multiple men and multiple women for that matter? No, it does not mean that! Because the Lord’s Word is set in Heaven (Psalm 119:89), and that is the Standard whereby we get what is marriage. The laws of the land do not define what marriage is and what marriage is not. And irrespective of what those in the Congress say, or do or what laws pass, or what the President signs, it will still be true that honorable marriage, in the eyes of the Lord, is that between one man and one woman—regardless of what is seen to be honorable in the eyes of men. It will be true today and it will be true forever, because one day the Lord will call all into judgment on that matter, and His standards will prevail, not man’s.

The Bible teaches that God’s standards always prevail over the whims of men, who yesterday considered one man and one woman to be marriage and tomorrow may consider who-knows-what to be marriage! But consider Deuteronomy 12:8: “Ye shall not do after all the things that we do here this day, every man whatsoever is right in his own eyes.” Deuteronomy 13:18: “When thou shalt hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, to keep all his commandments which I command thee this day, to do that which is right in the eyes of the Lord thy God.” So we are not to do what is right in the eyes of men; we are to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. Notice Proverbs 21:2: “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.” The Lord judges what is right and what is wrong. In Proverbs 16:25, “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man; but the end thereof are the ways of death.” It is not what man deems to be right that is the standard, but what God says is right that is the standard. Proverbs 30:12: “There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.” This generation may think that they are pure in their own eyes by passing this so-called “Respect for Marriage Act,” but they are not cleansed in the eyes of the Lord; they are still in filthiness according to this truth. And in Acts 5:29, Peter says quite plainly that when the commands of God come into conflict with the commands of men, “We ought to obey God rather than men.” And so marriage is honorable, first of all, when God says it is honorable and under the conditions that God says it is honorable, because God’s ways are always right and man’s ways are sometimes wrong.

2. Marriage is honorable when it respects God’s pattern for marriage. And what is God’s pattern for marriage? Let’s turn back to Genesis chapter two and we will see exactly what God’s pattern for marriage is in this chapter. Genesis 2:18-25:

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Notice the pattern. First of all, humans are to marry other humans. Notice specifically in verse 20 that after Adam had looked at all of the animals and given them all their names, the Bible says, “for Adam there was not found an help suitable for him.” As disgusting as the thought is, there are those who would have marriages between humans and animals. The Bible says that animals are not suitable for marriage. They are not suitable, and none of them were suitable for Adam. Notice also we have male and female. When God made another human, He made a woman for Adam; He did not make another man. Neither did He make two women. So it is one man and one woman, male and female. Notice that both of these humans, Adam and Eve, were adults. God did not make a child for Adam to marry, and so we have adults with adults. Notice that they are married as husband and wife, that they leave parents and they cleave to one another, and that in such a state when you have a human with another human, when it is one man with one woman, when it is not many but just one and one, you have an honorable situation. Verse 25, “They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Is that pattern still in force today? Jesus says that it is. In Matthew 19:4-5, as we read earlier, He says when the Pharisees came to Him in answer to their question, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” He says to them, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” And so Jesus goes all the way back to the beginning, and He says this is God’s pattern! This is God’s rule for marriage: one man, one woman, for life. And if we do not define it in that way, then we have not defined it in God’s way, and we are wrong for changing it.

What happens if we don’t respect this pattern that God has given us for marriage? We will have men marrying other men or women marrying other women. You will have adults marrying children, multiple marriage partners of both men and women. You will have multiple species marrying. In fact, if you don’t respect God’s pattern for marriage, then anything goes! Why have marriage at all? That’s what happens when you leave God’s will, God’s authority, God’s pattern for marriage.

Honorable marriage. Marriage is honorable when God says it is, not man, first of all. Second, it is honorable when it conforms to God’s pattern for marriage.

3. It is honorable when it is not used to legitimize fornication or adultery. Let’s define adultery. Adultery is when a person who has an honorable marriage seeks to obtain sexual activity outside of that marriage. Turn with me, if you would, to Ezekiel 16:32. There are many passages in the Bible that discuss adultery, but this is one that defines adultery. Notice it says, “But as a wife that committeth adultery, which taketh strangers instead of her husband!” There is the definition of adultery. You will note in the King James Version that the words “but,” “as,” and “which” are in italics. That means that the translators chose to put those words in because they thought it would clarify it in the context; but if we take those words out, we have this: “A wife that committeth adultery taketh strangers instead of her husband!” Now there is a clear definition of adultery in the Scriptures, and to argue with that definition is to argue with the Scriptures.

Question: Did they understand that definition in Jesus’ day? Let’s turn over to John chapter 8 and see what is in this context. In John chapter 8, they brought a woman taken in adultery to Jesus. Now notice what is said in verse 4. The Pharisees, “They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.” Now to what do you suppose “in the very act” refers? It refers to a woman who takes a stranger instead of her husband. That’s what it is talking about in Ezekiel 16:32 and that is the same thing that is being talked about here. She was taken in the very act of adultery. And so that definition that was in the Old Testament is the same as the definition used in the New Testament. Having that in mind, we note Romans 7:3: “So then if while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” The people of Jesus’ day were seeking to legitimize adultery through marriage. And Jesus simply did not tolerate it. He said in Matthew 5:31-32:

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Notice what He says in Luke 16:18: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.” And in Matthew 19:9: “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” They take a stranger instead of their own husband or wife, and that is what Jesus is talking about in these passages.

The Bible does not recognize that adulterous marriages are honorable. They are not honorable; it is just adultery. Neither does the Bible recognize same-sex marriages as anything honorable; it is just fornication. Hebrews 13:4 calls it for what it is: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Notice Romans 1:26-27 when it comes to the topic of homosexuality: For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

We know that those who approve such things fall under God’s condemnation as well. If you will look at that last verse in Romans chapter one (verse 32), it talks about those who not only practice such things but those who approve of such things. The King James Version says there, “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” The ASV says, “Who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practice such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practice them.” And the English Standard Version says in verse 32, “Though they know God’s decree, that those that practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” And so if we give approval to these things, we are just as guilty as those who practice such things.

What do you have when the laws of the land recognize a marriage that is really based upon adultery or fornication? You have, first of all, a marriage that does not honor God (Heb. 13:4). That is not an honorable marriage. You have a marriage that is in name only, according to Romans 7:3. You give mere lip service to the word “marriage,” because marriage means absolutely nothing when it is taken away from one man and one woman, and you debate that which God has made holy.

Now, is this really such a big problem? There are those in society who are being convinced more and more that “oh, there is nothing wrong with homosexual marriage, it is okay, it is just a different way of living, it is an alternative lifestyle, and we can do whatever we want.” That kind of thinking is wrong and sinful, as has been demonstrated from Romans 1:32. But let’s look at some of the things that those who advocate homosexual marriage have said in times past.

A man by the name of Michelangelo Signorile wrote the following in an article entitled “Bridal Wave” published in OUT magazine in the December/ January 1994 issue: “A middle ground must be to fight for same-sex marriage and its benefits and then once granted redefine the institution of marriage completely, to demand the right to marry not as a way of adhering to society’s moral codes, but rather to debunk a myth and radically alter an archaic institution” (141). They will not be content to have marriage be between just two people, two humans; they will continue to push for it to be more and more radicalized, until it is completely undone altogether. The same author of the same magazine in the article “I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do,” in May of 1996 said, “It is also a chance to wholly transform the definition of family in American culture. It is the final tool with which to dismantle all sodomy statutes, get education about homosexuality and AIDS into public schools, and, in short, usher in a sea change in how society views and treats us.” And you look at all of the ads that our children are bombarded with, and television shows in which they say, “Well, family is not just a mother and a father and children—no, no! It is everyone who you like or love, or whatever the case may be—that is what a family is.” So if it is two men who are raising a child, that’s a family; if it is two women, that’s a family, two men and a woman or two women and a man—well, that’s a family. That is the agenda! That is what they want you to believe—that anything can be a family! It is heresy, and the Bible says that those who teach it will lose their souls forever!

Another author, Paula Edelbricht, in a 1993 piece titled “Since When Is Marriage a Path to Liberation?” wrote: “Being queer means pushing the parameters of sex, sexuality, and family and in the process transforming the very fabric of society. . . . We must keep our eyes on the goal of providing true alternatives to marriage and of radically reordering society’s view of reality” (William Ruberstein, ed., Lesbians, Gay Men and the Law, New York: The New Press, 401-405). Judith Levine, a pro-homosexual and pro-pedophile author, in an article titled “Stop the Wedding!: Why Gay Marriage Isn’t Radical Enough,” published in the July 2003 issue of The Village Voice, wrote, “Because American marriage is inextricable from Christianity, it admits participants as Noah led animals on to the ark [that is two by two], but it doesn’t have to be that way,” she says. In other words, not two by two—maybe three by three or four by four, or whatever number. In 1972 the National Coalition of Gay Organizations demanded the ‘repeal of all legislative provisions that restrict the sex or number of persons entering into a marriage unit; and the extension of legal benefits to all persons who cohabit, regardless of sex or numbers.’ Would polygamy invite abuses of child brides as feminists in Muslim countries and prosecutors in Mormon Utah charge? No! Group marriage could comprise any combination of genders.” Michael Kinsley, in a piece for the July 3, 2003 issue of the Washington Post titled, “Abolish Marriage; Let’s Really Get the Government Out of Our Bedrooms,” wrote, “The solution is to end the institution of marriage, or rather; the solution is to end the institution of government monopoly on marriage. And yes, if three people want to get married, or one person wants to marry herself and someone else wants to conduct a ceremony and declare them married, let ‘em (sic). If you and your government aren’t implicated, what do you care?” (A23).

Now this is what they are trying to accomplish, and that is why we must stand up! And that is why we must stop any legislation that defines marriage in any other way than one man and one woman! And we’ve got to do it, or else there is going to be no marriage in our society and in our culture. And if it is, it will just be regulated to the church building, and that’s it. And as far as the government is concerned, they won’t care one way or the other. And before you know it, there are going to be people knocking on the door, demanding to come into our buildings and demanding that we legitimize their fornication or their adultery, or whatever the case may be. And if we don’t, they are going to go to the federal government, they are going to find a federal prosecutor, and they are going to come in and they are going to undo the church. Now if you don’t think that hasn’t happened—it has, in some places, such as the Collinsville church of Christ in Collinsville, Oklahoma when they were sued by a former member because they exposed her adultery, and withdrew fellowship from her. Is that such a far cry from being sued for refusing to conduct a public wedding?

Is it really consequential; that is, do people really get hurt because of this? Yes! Because when you start opening things up to just any kind of sexual relationship whatsoever, bad things happen in society. You say, like what, Kevin? Let’s talk about the problem of sexually transmitted diseases—Herpes, Hepatitis B, AIDS. All of these things are transmitted and passed along to others because of loose moral standards in relationship to sex. The legalization of homosexual marriages would encourage that trend. What about the problem of unwed mothers, which has now risen to a level of 40% of births in the United States? And why does that happen? Because there were those in the 1960s and the 1970s who were pushing absolute sexual freedom. What ended up happening is the men decided they didn’t have to stick around and help take care of the babies that they helped to make. What happens when a same-sex couple decides to adopt, and then they divorce? We will just have more single-parent children and orphans in our society. In other words, if the institution of marriage is radicalized, in what context will there be procreative sexual relations? It will not matter, according to the laws, and there will be an increase child neglect and abuse.

Another problem that will occur is additional violent sexual crimes. After the sexual revolution (1960 to 1981) the problem of rape increased fourfold in the United States, because of the libertine attitudes relative to sexuality associated with that movement. A similar result will occur when the institution of marriage is radicalized because more individuals will be in a position to act violently in a sexual manner toward more people.

What about the divorce rate, which is currently around 30%. In the past, it has been closer to 50%. The divorces are occurring right and left, men and women are hurting one another; and there are children who are hurt as the result of divorces, as well. What about adultery in society? It is estimated that in 30% of the marriages in society, someone has committed adultery. That number may be higher, because people don’t normally go around saying they’ve committed adultery. These people are hurting. Why then, would we tolerate opening up of marriage to just anything? The harms to society will simply increase by that much by putting additional individuals into the legal institution of marriage. This is where marriage is heading; that’s where the radicals want it to head, and they will push it there, if we don’t put a stop to it right here and right now!

As Christians, we must not let these self-admitted radical perverters of society succeed in their task. We must be loving; we must be kind, but we must be firm and unfaltering in our stance for the truth—and we must not give up! As a culture, we have let things slide over the past several years, since the push to have one man and one woman for life became law in the Defense of Marriage Act. Now the Gallup Association says that over 52% of Americans in the United States believe that homosexual marriage is okay. Fifty-two percent! We have not been as vigilant as we ought to have been, and we need to be more vigilant on this issue. We must remember Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.” I worry about what my children, and perhaps my grandchildren, will have to face in this society, if things continue to go down the road as the radical perverters of marriage and sexuality desire to have happen in this country. And they will not stop pushing. They will push and push and push. They have control of the television stations, they have control of the programming; they have control of the largest part of Congress. There are both Democrats and Republicans now who say, “Oh, there is nothing wrong with it.” We’ve got to stop it—we’ve got to put an end to it. We will not stop the battle, but we’ve got to stop this effort now. We did our jobs several years ago when the Defense of Marriage Act passed; we have to do our jobs again. We are going to have to make calls to our senators, to our representatives; we are going to have to send in faxes and e-mails—we are going to have to get with it, folks, or else marriage is going to be radically undone in this society. And sin will be a reproach to this nation.

How will you respond to this message? Well, I hope that everyone, first of all, will agree with what the Bible has to say on this topic—that honorable marriage is that which God approves. Honorable marriage is that which does not legitimize fornication and adultery. Honorable marriage is that which is according to the pattern we find in the Scriptures. And starting with that point, we must go out and we must push; and we must push as we never have before to make sure that honorable marriage in our society stays honorable.

This morning we have been talking about things that relate to sin. God takes sin very seriously, and I hope that you can understand from this lesson that we should take sin very seriously as well. As Paul said in Romans 1:32, “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death….” They are worthy of eternal separation from God in hell forever. And that is where this is ultimately going, and that’s where we will ultimately be if we approve of such things. God does not draw a distinction between those who approve it and those who practice it. He sees them as the same thing. And so we need to be faithful Christians in this regard, standing up for what is right, being “the pillar and ground of the truth,” as Paul says to Timothy in 1 Timothy 3:15, letting the world know that we are not going to let anything else pass as the definition of marriage than one man and one woman, in our society.

Perhaps you have compromised on this, or have been tempted to compromise on it in your mind, in your life; or perhaps you have compromised on it in conversations that you had with those in the office or somewhere. We ask you this morning, why would you want to do that? Why would you want to jeopardize your relationship with God like that? Because that is exactly what has happened. Please stand up for what is right! Wherever you are, let people know that homosexuality is wrong and sinful. It violates God’s law, God’s will, and that you won’t stand for it. We’ve got to work hard and we’ve got to start now, because the push is being made to undo everything that has been done. And so this is a call to action.