Modesty

When we turn on the television or we walk down the streets at any given time in any given place it’s not usually very long before we see someone who is either inadequately or inappropriately dressed.   

To set the stage for this lesson, let’s recall the account of Peter, Thomas, Nathanael of Cana, the sons of Zebedee, one of them being John, and two others left unnamed, went fishing one night after the Jesus had been crucified and had arisen.  They fished all night and caught nothing.  Jesus appeared on the shore and instructed them to cast their nets on the right side of the boat and when they did, they caught so many fish they couldn’t draw their nets in.   We are all familiar with that story.  But I want to make an observation about it.  We find this account in John chapter 21 starting in verse 1.  In verse 7 we read, “Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.“

According to the record, they were about 300 feet out in the sea of Tiberias.  When Peter realized that it was Jesus, he immediately puts on his outer garment and jumped into the water to go meet Him on the shore.  Peter put his coat on before he plunged into the water.

Have we ever thought about that?  Would that not be an odd thing for a man to do in the company of other men?  Peter is about to swim a hundred yards in the water to go to the shore and he puts on more clothes.  The term in the original Greek used here for outer garment is translated as “fisher’s coat” in the KJV.  It was a garment similar to the coats we would wear today to protect us from the elements.  That would be like one of us putting on an overcoat before jumping into the water to start swimming. 

People in the world and some in the church have a serious misunderstanding of modesty.  Most people think that if somebody dresses in a way that causes another person to lust, it’s immodest, and certainly that is true but brethren that is not enough.  How many of us want to put ourselves in the position of saying that if Peter believed that he did not put his outer garment on that Jesus Christ was going to lust after him?  Think about that.  There had to be another reason why Peter put on his coat to go meet the Lord. 

Peter was going into the presence of the Jesus Christ and he realized that dressed in just his undergarments was not appropriate.   They had been working all night, sweating and straining with the boat and the net.  Peter had removed his outer garment in order to work more freely with the fishing gear, but he put it back on in order to swim over to the shore?  One has to ask themselves, would Peter have put on his coat to swim to the shore if Jesus Christ were not standing there? 

The reason Peter did this is because, Modesty doesn’t just govern the area of causing lust, it has to do with appropriateness.  It has to do with being proper.   Now we need to understand that while modesty and appropriateness are related, they are not the same.  We will see this later on as we develop this lesson. 

This story doesn’t start in John chapter 21.  Let’s go back to where this really starts to Genesis chapter 2 with Adam and Eve.  In Genesis chapter 2 starting in verse 21 and following we read, 

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Now turn over one chapter to Genesis chapter 3, starting in verse 7, we read, “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.

8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
NKJV

Something pretty significant happened between Genesis chapter 2 and chapter 3 because before they were naked and unashamed, now they’re still naked but now they are ashamed of their condition.   They had eaten of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  They understood now because of having this new knowledge that the way they were dressed was inappropriate. 

Now we need to remember something when we consider this example of Adam and Eve.  How many other people were there on the earth at this time?  There were none.  Scripture plainly says that Eve was the mother of all living, (Genesis 3:20).  Adam and Eve were alone as far as other people were concerned and they had come to the understanding that just walking about on a daily basis without any clothing on was inappropriate because who were they in the garden with?  They were with God.  And they understood that they could no longer do this so what did they do about it?

Genesis 3:7
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
NKJV

They fashioned themselves coverings from fig leaves.  By today’s worldly standards, they probably could have appeared as they were, dressed only in those fig leaves in public or on our television sets without fear of reprisal.  But what we need to focus on in this lesson is that even though they were covered in some fashion, Adam admitted to God that he was naked.  The first thing we need to take from this lesson today is that a man and a woman can be somewhat covered and still be considered naked by the Biblical standard.  We are going to focus later in this lesson on the fact that the clothes Adam and Eve made for themselves were not modest. 

When we think about the sin of Adam and Eve, we focus more on the sin of rebellion against God’s command to refrain from eating of the forbidden fruit than we do about them being naked in the garden.   We don’t pay much attention to the fact that they were naked and ashamed of themselves.  After they ate of the fruit, they used fig leaves to cover themselves, yet for all of their efforts, when God came into the garden, they still considered themselves naked, so they hid.  Having acquired the knowledge of good and of evil, they experienced guilt from being immodestly dressed. 

Due to their sin, they suddenly found themselves living in a world where nakedness was immodest.  And brethren, we still live in that same world today.  Nakedness is immodest and you don’t have to be totally nude to be considered naked by God. 

Immodesty dominates much of what we see on our TVs in our country today.  Music videos, commercials, regular TV shows.  It’s a constant flow of immodesty into our homes.   And make no mistake about it, modestly goes way beyond just what we wear.  Immodesty is expressed in the way these people move, in the way they act and interact, in their speech and in the way they present themselves.  Modesty is far reaching and goes way beyond our apparel.    It is entirely possible to be modestly dressed but still be immodest through our behavior. 

So how does a Christian remain modest in a immodest world?  First we have to know what is modest and immodest.  We have to know what God’s standard for modesty is.  We do that by studying what God has revealed about it in His word.  He certainly did not command modesty but leave us with no way knowing what He considers modesty to be. 

Going all the way back to Adam and Eve, we see that God made “coats of skins, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21).   Now keep in mind here that God made the same clothes for Adam that He did for Eve.  Now we need to consider that while at the some time remembering that the world thinks that men can wear something different, or less than a woman and still be modest. 

Why would God have made these coats of skin if it was not necessary?  Adam and Eve were alone in the garden.  There was nobody else on earth but them.  the coverings that Adam and Eve made for themselves, by their own admission, was simply not good enough.  They still hid from God because of their shame and because of their guilt. 

At that time, God saw fit to make them clothing that was both adequate and suitable.  Now we have right here an example of divinely designed and God approved coverings of the human body.  We are not going to find a better example of how God wants mankind dressed than clothing designed by Him.     God fitted them with coats of skins.  The word for “Coat” in this passage indicates that they were entirely covered from their shoulders to the bottom of their thighs.  God’s personal designer clothing for the covering of mankind included the upper and lower portions of our torso, for both men and women. 

The same thing applies to Adam and Eve as it did for Peter out fishing.  If modesty were only about not causing someone to lust after another, then why oh why did Adam and Eve feel shame for their nakedness.  I will submit to you that the last thing on Adam and Eve’s mind at that time was concern over God lusting over their nakedness.  Just like Peter, Adam and Eve were not just dressed immodestly, they were dressed inappropriately.  Appropriateness is as much as part of modesty as proper covering of the body is.  Let me illustrate.  Skins covering Adam and Eve from their shoulders to their knees was modest.  And for the situation at hand on that day, it was appropriate dress as well.  But, that same outfit that God designed and fit them with would not be an appropriate way for me to have dressed this morning for services.  Imagine the reactions here if I showed up this morning all ready to preach to you dressed in fig leaves and an animal skin coat. 

That is why we do not find a step by step detailed account of how a Christian ought to dress in scripture.  Because if we did, it would almost certainly be first century type dress and we would be constrained to dress exactly that way all of the time.  God did not do that to us.  What He did do is give us guidelines for overall righteousness and leave it up to us to accomplish both modesty and appropriateness in the way we present ourselves as  Christians before the world.   

How does a Christian remain modest in an immodest world?

First we must know God’s standard for modest dress.  Second, we must know and understand the consequences of immodesty.  And third, we must accept our responsibility as Christians and take a stand for modesty.  One cannot be modest in an immodest world and not know the standard of modesty, and not know the consequences of immodesty and not take a stand for modesty.  And brethren, make no mistake about it, that is the hardest part.  It’s easy to take a stand against murder and robbery isn’t it?  It’s easy to take stand and oppose lying and cheating.  But it’s harder when it’s something that permeates our entire culture.  It’s harder when taking a stand is going to put you at odds against society as a whole.  It’s harder when taking a stand is going to cause you to stand out as different, strange, not like the rest and therefore risk the disapproval and scorn of society, your friends, and in all likelihood your families. 

First, what is God’s standard for modest dress?  

What do we need to have covered up?  We have already seen that God clothed Adam and Eve from the shoulders to the bottom of their thighs.  God gave commandments concerning His priests in the Old Testament.  Priests were commanded not to climb the steps to the alter in such a way that their nakedness be exposed to those standing beneath in Exodus 20:26.  In Exodus 28:40-43 we read God’s instruction concerning the attire of His priests, “For Aaron’s sons you shall make tunics, and you shall make sashes for them. And you shall make hats for them, for glory and beauty. 41 So you shall put them on Aaron your brother and on his sons with him. You shall anoint them, consecrate them, and sanctify them, that they may minister to Me as priests“.  Ok, so here we have them being dressed in tunics which was the standard article of clothing at this time in history.  A tunic commonly covered one from the top of the shoulders down to the bottom of the thigh.  But that’s not enough for a priest who is going to ascend to the top of the alter.  You can see under a tunic if the wearer is standing above you.  So we read on in verse 42, “And”, (meaning in addition to), “you shall make for them linen trousers to cover their nakedness; they shall reach from the waist to the thighs. 43 They shall be on Aaron and on his sons when they come into the tabernacle of meeting, or when they come near the altar to minister in the holy place, that they do not incur iniquity and die…”  NKJV

During the times when the priests were engaging in activities such as working overhead or reaching up to light candles where their nakedness would be exposed, they were required to wear trousers that prevented that.  These trousers worn as undergarments beneath their tunics were to cover them from the waist down to the bottom of their thighs.  The consequences for failure to keep their nakedness covered was to incur iniquity and die.  God considered the exposed thighs of men to be nakedness.  The modesty of God’s priests was important enough to God that He set in place measures which would insure their modesty regardless of their activities. 

Now one might ask what bearing the adornment of a priest in the old testament has to do with us who live under the new covenant.  We need to be aware that there are priests of the new covenant and who they are.  If God had a standard of modesty and appropriateness for priests under the old covenant, what makes any of us think it would be any different for a priest under the new covenant?  Peter wrote in his first epistle in chapter 2 verses 9 and 10, “But you” (speaking to fellow Christians), “are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10 who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.”

We are a chosen generation, we are a holy nation, we are the people of God, His own special people, we are God’s royal priesthood.  Every Christian alive on this earth today is a priest of God.  Man or woman, young or old, we are all priests of God if we are a Christian.  We have to ask ourselves, when are we priests?  When are we not priests? When do we act like priests?  When can we not act like priests?   Are we priests after we leave here today, or do we leave this place of worship and leave our priestly responsibilities behind and embrace the ways of the world?  Certainly not. 

The consequences of immodesty

So we have the standard of modesty and what God expects of us as His priests.  What about the consequences of immodesty?  The first and most obvious consequence of immodesty is sin.  It promotes “the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes” as written in 1 John 2:16.  Immodesty is a double edged sword.  It is sinful to be immodest and it promotes sin in others. 

Consider the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:28, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  The same goes for men who dress immodestly where women are concerned.  We are going to be judged by the desires of our hearts.  Immodesty can cause someone to stumble and fall.  We can, with immodesty, cause someone to lose their salvation.  And scripture is clear that to cause someone to stumble bears the same consequence as those who do stumble.  Romans 14:13, “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.”  So when we dress or act immodestly, we are not only guilty of personal sin, but we can cause others to sin as well.

Another consequence of immodesty is sexual crimes.  There is no way we can quantify the pain and suffering brought upon humanity as a result of immodesty.  There is a multi-billion dollar industry we know as pornography which is built around immodesty.  Immodesty is linked to more than sexual crimes too.  King David saw Bath-Sheba on a roof-top washing herself.  She was immodestly exposed.  King David lusted after her and when it was all said and done, Uriah, Bath-Sheba’s husband died because of it.  He was an honorable man, unjustly murdered because of David and Bath-Sheba’s sin.  We must ask, how many people today suffer because of someone else’s immodesty?   How many children have been molested because of someone else’s immodesty?   How much needless pain and suffering have innocent people had to endure because of other people’s immodesty?

And the last and most serious consequence of immodesty is spiritual death.  It is sin to be immodest or to cause others to lust.  James 1:14-15, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”  Immodesty, whether by one’s actions or by one’s dress is primarily used for one thing.  It is used to appeal in some way to a member of the opposite sex, to attract them, to cause oneself to be desired or to look desirable to them.  It is wrong to be immodest and equally wrong to succumb to immodesty.  And the consequences for both is spiritual death. 

And the third thing a Christian must do to be modest in an immodest world is to know our responsibility and take a stand against it.   

What is our responsibility as a Christian?  We have already seen from 1 Peter 2:9 that Christians are a royal priesthood.  Peter wrote in his second epistle in chapter 1, verses 5-7, “…giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love” What does godliness mean?  Godliness means to be “like God”.   We are to be “like God”.  This means in our manner of dress, in our actions, in our speech, in every facet of our lives.  We are to strive to be like God.  Decent, modest and appropriate at all times.  We are let our light shine before the world so that they can see our good works and glorify God in heaven (Matthew 5:16).  God expects the world to see His light through us, His royal priesthood.

As God’s royal priesthood, we are commanded to glorify God in all our actions.  Read Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”  What is left out of “whatever you do”?  We have to ask ourselves, does our appearance out in the world being glory to God?  Our appearance out in the world starts with the way we adorn ourselves.  Are we presenting ourselves to the world as priests of God to His glory, or are we presenting ourselves as children of the world?  Are we promoting God with our appearance or are we promoting the things of the world?  Are we as the royal priesthood of God representing Him properly to the world?  What does the world see, when they see us out in it.  These are questions we must ask ourselves. 

Let’s consider the words of Jesus in Luke 16:13, “No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” 

James wrote in chapter 4:4-5, “Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

Are we as the priests of God trying to serve two masters?  Are we as priests of God trying to be friends of the world?  Where is our loyalty?  To God or to the world? 

1 John 2:15
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

We know our responsibility as Christians, now how to we take a stand against immodesty?  The exact same way that we take a stand against murder, lying, fornication, and other forms of sin.  We abstain, we keep our distance, we shun it, we shut it out of our lives, we don’t have anything to do with it.  Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:17, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you“.

Taking a stand means more than just avoiding it too.  This is the hard part.  This is where it gets really tough brethren.  Let’s consider the words of Paul in Ephesians 5:5-7, “For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them.”  We cannot partake of the sin of immodesty with the world, but it doesn’t stop there does it?  Paul had more to say.  Reading on in verses 8-12, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.”  The KJV translates that as “reprove them”.  That word means to convict, convince, point out a fault, or rebuke. 

Brethren, it’s not enough to just abstain from immodesty.  We are commanded to rebuke immodesty.  We are commanded to make a stand.  To know God’s standard, abide by it and be intolerant of immodesty and to point it out when we get the opportunity, perhaps with our friends, our family, our co-workers.  The word of God says to take a stand. 

So how is the best way to convict, convince and point out fault to others?  It starts with our actions.  We cannot participate in immodest behavior.  If we participate in immodesty, we show the world that we approve of it.  We universally show our disapproval by our own modest speech, behavior and dress.  When others perceive in our actions that we do not support or approve of immodesty, God is both glorified and the light of truth has been shown on darkness.  There is without question times when a verbal rebuke is appropriate, but for the other situations which arise on a daily basis, our behavior, actions and appearance are the way that we point people to the light.  Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:58, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

As priest of God, Christians need to be aware that we are God’s representatives out in the world.  He is counting on us to show others the way. It has been left to us to be the examples, to live the Christian life, to lead others to God by being what we ought to be.  We must shine the light of truth on the path to heaven so that others can find it.  The world out there is a mess with all the things that are going on.  Christianity is the only hope the world has.  God is the only answer, God is the only way, God is the only hope.  Righteousness and truth is the remedy for what we see in the world.  God’s righteousness is the solution for all the troubles we see out in the world.  As Christians, we must resolve ourselves to be part of the solution.  If we aren’t part of the solution, then we’re part of the problem and we don’t want to be a part of what we see going on out there.  Jesus taught in Matthew 12:30, “He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.”

Let’s consider the words of Paul in Titus 2:11-15, “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.  These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority.”

We deny ungodliness by living soberly, righteously and godly in the present world.  Living godly means living as God lives.  And by so doing, we are not going to be like the world.  We are going to be a peculiar people, God’s own special people.  The people of the world are going to see and know from our actions and the way we live that we are different from them.  They are going to know that we do not consider this world our home.  And indeed, scripture refers to Christians as pilgrims in 1 Peter 2:11.

We’re going to look at some guidelines for modesty, then we’ll close the lesson for today.

1.  Will what we are wearing, doing or saying bring God glory? (1 Corinthians 10:31; Exodus 28:40,43; Isaiah 61:3)
2.  Does what we are wearing meet or exceed God’s standard for being modest (Genesis 3:21; Exodus 20:26; 28:40-43)?
3.  Will our clothing, speech or actions help or hurt my influence for Christ (Romans 13:10; 15:3; Philippians 2:3,4)?
4.  Is our clothing too short?  Sit down, cross your legs, bend over, squat down, reach up. At any time, does the garment reveal any of your leg above your knees? (Exodus 28:42) With tops and blouses, is your midriff showing at any time (Genesis 3:21)?
5. Is our clothing too tight?  Are we revealing the form of our bodies which highlights or emphasizes sexuality, thus tantalizing, enticing or tempting others to have impure thoughts (Matthew. 18:7; Galatians 5:19?
6. Is the neckline too low?  Remember that God covered Adam and Eve from the top of their shoulders to the bottom of their thighs.  Bend over – what can you see? Sit. What can be seen while looking down at you. Keep in mind that God made sure His priests were appropriately covered in every situation while performing their duties.
7.  Can our skin or undergarments be seen through our outer clothing?  Peter was considered naked while wearing only his undergarments in John 21:7.
8.  Is what we are wearing appropriate and respectful (Genesis 41:14; Matthew 22:11-14)?
9.  Because of how we dress act or speak, would someone mistake us for a worldly individual (Proverbs 7:10; Genesis 38:15)?
10.  Is our apparel, actions or speech stating that we are pure and holy, or objects of desire by others?
11.  Will our apparel, actions or speech cause someone to lust after us, thus causing others to stumble and sin (Romans 14:13; 1 Corinthians 8:9; Matthew 5:27,28)?

Does our apparel, actions or speech properly reflect our status in the kingdom of God as a member of His royal priesthood.  Would God be proud to be seen with us, or would He be ashamed of us?  Would He point to us as His example of righteousness before the world, or would He turn away from us?    Does our modesty illuminate the path to Heaven, or does it lead us and others down the other path?  Are we always pointing the way home to others who are lost?  Are we always glorifying God with our actions, dress and speech.  Are we a beacon of light to a dark and hopelessly lost world?  Do others look at us and see through heaven’s gate? 

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You Don’t Hit a Friend

I stopped to pick up David at pre-school one day and the teachers informed me that they had not had a very good day. Seems as though David, for some reason, got mad at his best friend and hit him. Things apparently deteriorated from there. David and I, after stopping in to tell his mother what had happened, headed home for a little father and son “talk.” I asked him how he thought his friend felt. David simply replied, “Sad.” And how does David feel? “Sad.” I explained to him that no matter what happens, you don’t hit a friend.

This brought to mind a conversation I had recently had with a friend who attended another congregation. My friend was going through a very tough time in her life and had made some brave, yet difficult, decisions. She was a faithful Christian woman whose only desire in life was to serve God and help bring as many people to Christ as possible. This she was doing with great sacrifice! She went to an elder of the congregation where she attended seeking help and support, but she left feeling let down and frustrated. It was as if she had been hit by a friend.

I have heard of brethren who are afraid of and/or intimidated by their elders. These men certainly are not the caring shepherds the Bible describes, but abusive friends. They lord over Christ’s body, instead of caring for the needs of their physical and spiritual health. What are they thinking? The Bible makes it clear that they will have to answer for the souls that have been entrusted to their care. Notice carefully what the Hebrew writer says, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17). Now notice that we are to obey them. But not if they are not watching out for our souls with joy and guiding us as loving shepherds. An elder should look at each member of the church as he would his own mother or father, son or daughter. Paul said, “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5).

But this principle is not something unique or limited to elders. Preachers, Bible Class teachers, deacons, and every other Christian can be just as unloving, unkind, and unfriendly. Consider the fact that we as brethren in Christ are to have the same care one for another (1 Corinthians 12:25). When Paul wrote to the church at Philippi he said he was sending Timothy because there was “no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state” (Philippians 2:20).

Consider the story of the “Good Samaritan.” Here we have the quintessential example of the kind of care we should have for everyone, especially those brothers and sisters in Christ (Galatians 6:10). The man of Samaria was not concerned about the time he lost, the money it cost, the danger he might encounter, or the reputation or image that might be portrayed. He only was worried about the good of someone else. God did the same thing by sending His Son to die for our sins (John 3:16). Christ did the same thing by leaving us an example for us to follow (1 Peter 2:21). Each of us as brothers, sister, children of God, and friends need to remember, “You don’t hit a friend.” Be faithful!

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Divorce

First of all, it is so important, for those who are not married, to make sure that you know whom you are marrying.  These Pharisees Jesus is addressing, they were neither honest nor sincere and they were not seeking information.  They had divorced for just about any reason and it was their aim and determination to entangle the Lord in serious difficulties, inconsistencies, and/or contradiction.  Their question grew out of the current controversy between two schools of thought over what constituted proper grounds for divorce based on Deut. 24:1-2.  One side believed that man could not release his wife unless he had found something indecent in her.  Another side taught that a man could divorce for any cause.  But, it was the Pharisees who wanted to create a conflict between the two schools.

Now, further compounding the situation was the fact that at least under some circumstances Moses permitted a man to divorce his wife.  If Christ had said that there were no proper grounds for divorce, he would have placed himself in contradiction to the Law.  Furthermore, Herod Antipas, the man who had murdered John the Baptizer, governed the area where he was now working.  Herod had taken his brother’s wife and had been rebuked by John on this account.

And so, in Matt. 19:4-6, the Lord replied in a way they did not expect by taking them back to the garden of Eden.  God made one man and one woman to merge for life.  It was only after man departed from God’s will that multiple wives and divorce came into human experience.  Because God had made them male and female, a man shall leave his parents’ home and cleave to his wife.  This means that they bind or glue themselves close to each other than to his father or mother.  And, what God joined, let not man put asunder meaning, since God did the joining, it is only God who can disjoin the marriage.  Man’s laws cannot change this fact.

In Vs. 7, we learn that Moses merely granted (by inspiration) the privilege to the Jewish man the right to give his wife a writing of divorcement provided he found in her some uncleanness (Deut. 24:1-2).  This freed the woman to seek another marriage and gave the man the right to remarry.  But, the Pharisees had worded their question in a devious manner, implying that Moses had required them to put away their wives.  Well, the Law had required was the provision of a bill of divorcement if the man found some uncleanness in his wife, but the law did not force a divorce.  The Pharisees had been guilty of careless study.  Brethren also have made the same error in regards to Romans 14 and Matt. 19:9 implying that if there is fornication that they have no choice but to divorce, but that is not true.

In vs. 8, we find that Moses only permitted divorce, he did not command it.  Because of their hardness of heart this breakup of the home was permitted for the protection of the wives.  Keep in mind that this permission was not a command from God, but something that Moses had allowed.

In vs. 9, the Lord states perfectly the Father’s will on divorce.  The word “whosoever” applies universally to everyone whether saint or sinner and does not matter if one is baptized or not.  Anyone that puts away his wife or set her free except for fornication is living in sin.  The word fornication is a generic term for any kind of unlawful sexual intercourse.  This does not mean kissing or any other act, which one could think of.  Divorce is solely for sexual intercourse whether is be with a male, female, homosexuality or bestiality because it destroys there being one flesh.

So, if one divorces for any other cause and marries another, they commit adultery.  It does not matter if one has been baptized, if they are still in the adultery relationship, they are continuing in adultery while in that relationship.  They will not inherit heaven because of it (1 Cor. 6:9).

Marriage is to be for a lifetime and I believe some have misunderstood “what God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.”  There is no such thing as a no fault divorce.  Anytime divorce happens, someone sins.  I mean, you consider he husband and wife and how they are bound to each other and neither the husband or wife has the right for divorce if fornication is not the reason for divorce.  In Eccl. 5:4-5, God had penned, “When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.  Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.”  When one gets married, they made a public vow to God and man.  Now, can they divorce for any reason and just live unmarried.  Answer this: Can they do it with God’s blessing?  In 1 Cor. 7:1-5, we learn that God made each of us sexual beings and in a marriage, if fornication has not happened, the married couple still have sexual obligations to each other and to deny them due to a divorce, it is sin.

Now, if fornication happens (Matt. 19:9), no man can state that they must be forced to stay together.  God gave a possible reason for divorce and man cannot bind where God has not bound.  Some show that there is no mention of divorce outside the Gospel accounts and therefore, divorce is impossible.  Well, it is true that the new law did not start until Christ died on the Cross.  But, Christ was not teaching an old Law in the Gospel accounts.  In addition, the Gospel accounts are most certainly part of the New Law.

When dealing with this situation, it is always best to do two things: First, never back down from the truth because a soul is at stake.  Secondly, learn to be very sensitive to others feelings because this is a flesh ripping, delicate situation and whopping someone over the head with the truth does more harm than good.  Paul told us in Col. 4:6 to let our speech by always with grace, seasoned with salt.

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Family Values (Part 1)

I know of no institution of society that has undergone such drastic changes in the past 50 years as the American family. The family unit that existed 50 years ago was normally thought to consist of a man, a woman, and children. The extended family of 50 years ago normally was thought to be made up of parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and nieces. A great deal has changed in the family and in the attitudes of society toward the family unit described in the Bible. In this study we want to examine some of the changes and compare them with the God sanctioned definition of the family, please stay with us as we develop this study.

Today, there are several groups of very militant people that have successfully altered the concept of the American family. The homosexual/lesbian alliance have insisted that two women or two men make a family unit and this living arrangement has been blessed by the court system in America so that they are today entitled to adopt children and raise them according to this perverted lifestyle. There is also a lifestyle today that consists of a man and a woman who agree to live together without benefit of marriage (i.e. two people involved in continuous fornication). This lifestyle exists because such individuals consider marriage and submitting to God’s ordinances of marriage as irrelevant. The two lifestyles discussed in this paragraph are not acceptable to God. God condemns these two humanly devised substitutes for marriage; we will discuss God’s law regarding the family unit and family values later on in this study.

No list of lifestyles is complete without giving some space to the single Parent family unit. Now, the single parent family unit may occur in society due to at least three causes – perhaps there may be more reasons that I will list here.

1.         Because of unlawful deed – (i.e. rape)

2.         Because of Divorce.

3.         Because of the death of one of the married partners.

I do not see that this particular family situation can be avoided.  Although I do not see how these kinds of families can be avoided I suggest that if the individual that is widowed scripturally divorced seek to remarry, they try to find a Christian partner. Indeed,, sometimes a Christian (i.e. one that seems to be so), is no better than an unbeliever, but the chances for a successful second marriage is still greater if the person you marry is a true Christian.

THE BIBLE ON GOD’S FAMILY AND FAMILY VALUES

In the beginning God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden – cf.,

Genesis 1:27, “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (ASV)

Genesis 2:21-25, “21 And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof:22 and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (ASV)

God did not create anyone else at this time but equipped Adam and Eve in such a fashion that they could procreate together – cf., Genesis 1:27-28, “27 And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them: and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (ASV)

The Bible further shows that Adam and Eve did began to multiply – cf. Genesis 4:1-2, “1 And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man with (the help of) Jehovah. 2 And again she bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” (ASV)

Since God created the man and then created the woman for the man, any departure from this divine plan (i.e. homosexual, lesbian, or lying with beasts) is unacceptable to God. For man to assume that any other family arrangement is acceptable to God is sinful and will eternally condemn the perpetuator of the unnatural act. – cf. Revelation 22:18-19, “18 I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, if any man shall add unto them, God shall add unto him the plagues which are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the tree of life, and out of the holy city, which are written in this book.” (ASV)

NOTE:  God has always condemned sexual relationships between men and men and between women and women as is stated in – cf. Romans 1:26-32, “26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due. 28 And even as they refused to have God in (their) knowledge, God gave them up unto a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 backbiters, hateful to God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, covenant-breakers, without natural affection, unmerciful: 32 who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practice such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practice them.” (ASV)

GOD’S ATTITUDE TOWARD FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

In God’s plan for the family unit the plan in perfection includes a man, a woman, and children. Such a family unit may be found in Genesis as we look at the very first family unit that came into existence, God apparently approved the Genesis family for nothing is said that would indicate otherwise. The Biblical concept described above does not exclude other God approved family situations.

1.         The man or woman who desires to remain single

2.         The one parent family unit – where one parent is no longer included in the family due to legitimate (i.e. God acceptable) reasons.

DUTIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS

There is a great responsibility placed upon the husband and wife as parents in God’s family values system. The Bible teaches that the parents have several joint responsibilities in the family unit; they are:

1.     Provide materially for their children – 2 Corinthians 12:14, “Behold, this is the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be a burden to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.” (ASV)

A.                 Schooling (i.e. a reasonable education)

B.                 Food

C.                 Clothing

D.                 Shelter

E.                 Peace, contentment, safety, freedom from fear, etc.

F.                  Spiritual example (i.e. father & mother give the children spiritual guidance)

2.      Provide a nurturing environment for the children – Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” (ASV)

3.    Provide love and affection for the children – Matthew 7:9-11, “9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone; 10 or if he shall ask for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (ASV)

RESPONSIBILITIES THAT FATHER, MOTHER, AND CHILDREN SHARE; JOINTLY

1.      Jointly work together to provide a happy home

2.      Jointly work together to cooperate in family activities

3.      Jointly look out for one another’s well being

4.      Jointly work together to help each other get to heaven

FATHER’S RESPONSIBILITY

1.   Provide for the family (i.e. primary provider) – Genesis 3:19, “in the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it was thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shall thou return.” (ASV)

2.    Be a good husband and father by example – encourage spirituality in the family unit.

The father that is a Christian will be an example of spirituality to everyone in the community and surely he is also to be an example to his own family, note the following Bible references that establish   this point:

Matthew 5:13, “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men.” (ASV)

Matthew 5:14, “Ye are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid.” (ASV)

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (ASV)

Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” (ASV)

MOTHER’S RESPONSIBILITY

There is an old adage about mothers that is not used very much today but it is still the truth if applied as God instructs – “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.” From this adage, one understands that even nations and kings are influenced by their mother while young and in the development stages. This tells mothers to be conscious of the great role that they still play in God’s family value system.

1.  Mothers ought to honored and respected – Ephesians 6:2, “Honor thy father and mother (which is the    first commandment with promise),” (ASV)

2.   Mothers (i.e. wives) are to be loved and cherished by their husbands – Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands,       love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;” (ASV)

3.   Mothers have some of the same responsibilities as the father in God’s system of family values –

See father’s responsibilities previously studied.

4.  Mothers and grand-mothers ought to teach their children about God and the things of God –

2 Timothy 1:5, “having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in thee; which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in thee also.” (ASV)

CHILDREN’S RESPONSIBILITIES

1.  Children should obey their parents – Ephesians 6:1-3, “1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), 3 that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (ASV)

Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth.” (ASV)

2.         Children ought to be in subjection (i.e. obedient to) to their parents –

1 Timothy 3:4, “one that ruleth well his own house, having (his) children in subjection with all gravity;” (ASV)

1 Timothy 3:12, “Let deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling (their) children and their own houses well.” (ASV)

Titus 1:6, “if any man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having children that believe, who are not accused of riot or unruly.” (ASV)

3.   Children ought to provide for their needy parents, etc. –

1 Timothy 5:4, “But if any widow hath children or grandchildren, let them learn first to show piety  towards their own family, and to requite their parents: for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” (ASV)

4.   Children ought to become Christians when they reach accountable age – Children that are Christians are a joy unto their parents and their Heavenly Father; they are also examples to the community in which they live.

5.    Children should honor their parents – Ephesians 6:2-3, “2 Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), 3 that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (ASV)

THE FAMILY UNIT and RESPONSIBILITY TO GOD

There is a great failure on the part of many families today in the relationship that they sustain to God. Many families today are regular in their attendance at some place of worship but fail to put God and the things of God first in their priorities of day to day living, Note the statement in Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (ASV) – It is not difficult to understand this passage of Scripture but it seems difficult for many families to put this concept into action in their lives. I do not believe that we really give serious attention to this instruction because we think that we do not have time to stop and consider the things that we are involved with as distractions from serving and obeying God’s instructions here in Matthew 6:33. It is possible that we never stop and consider that we have erred in some phase of everyday life so we do nothing about it. We do not consider the Lord’s pleadings with us as in 1 John 2:1-4, “1 My little children, these things write I unto you that ye may not sin. And if any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2 and he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the whole world. 3 And hereby we know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him;” (ASV) Some advice about strengthening the bond in the family unit:

1.  Have family prayer at meals – at home or at a restaurant.

2. Have family together Bible study about some subject of interest to everyone in the family.

3.  Make it a practice to invite friends and guests to worship with you if they plan to be in your home during times for worship with the church.

4.  As a family prepare cards and notes to mail out to the sick and shut-in in the church at home as a family.

5.   Invite neighbors to attend worship and gospel meetings with you.

6. Make sure that you always set a good example for your neighbors.

7.  Always make a special effort to attend services when the whole church comes together.

CONSIDER THIS:  Ultimately, everything that the family ought to be is attainable through a knowledge of the Written Word (i.e. the BIBLE). The family that practices true Christian lifestyles will be a shining light in the community not only as Christians but as representatives of Christ’s church. Just as the church that is approved of by God ourselves the Divine Pattern found in the Bible, also the family unit that pleases God follows the Divine Pattern found in the Bible.

Genesis 2:22-24, “22 and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (ASV)

Mark 10:6-9, “6 But from the beginning of the creation, Male and female made he them. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; 8 and the two shall become one flesh: so that they are no more two, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (ASV)

The family unit is designed by God to last until the children are grown and continue until the parents pass on to be with the Lord. Make it a good adventure through life!

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Milk

Milkshakes, Milk Duds, Milky Way, Chocolate Milk, Milk and Cookies, Ice Milk, Milk and Pepsi…  How does the Bible relate to milk?

1 Peter 2:2 – “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:”

Hebrews 5:12 – “For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.”

Above are two scriptures concerning milk.  Milk is figuratively used as the nutrition of the Word of God.  Milk is the building block of young life.  The young Christian takes in the milk of the word to develop his body.  In doing so, he grows into an individual who is mature.  The following verse, gives an appropriate description of one who is mature:

2 Timothy 3:16-17 – “Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness.  That the man of God may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work.”

Have you ever drank bad milk?  Bleh!  Ick!  It tastes bad!  It smells bad!

2 Peter 2:1-2 – “But there arose false prophets also among the people, as among you also there shall be false teachers, who shall privily bring in destructive heresies, denying even the Master that bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their lascivious doings; by reason of whom the way of the truth shall be evil spoken of.”

Matthew 24:11 – “And many false prophets shall arise, and shall lead many astray.”

1 John 3:7-8 – “My little children, let no man lead you astray: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous: he that doeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. To this end was the Son of God manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.”

Enjoy the sweet pleasures of milk.  Strengthen the body with its nutritional value.  Prize the spiritual milk above all.  Take care to inspect milk before you drink it (Acts 17:11).  Throw the spoiled milk out!

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