Church of Christ Articles

Question of Liking

Girls ask themselves this question. Guys ask the same thing too. Movie stars ask this question. First grade teachers ask it as well. This question greatly troubles some individuals, while others don’t struggle with it too much. Yet, the question is there. There are people who make this the objective of their life. It does not matter what they have to do, they will do it to bring about the desired result. Many parents worry about this with their children. They do so to their own detriment. Politicians typically don’t care about this as long as they get votes. Someone looking for a lifelong relationship deeply contemplates this question, because it will affect who they marry.

Does Having People Like You Drive Your Actions?

The actress Sally Field received an Oscar for her role in Places in the Heart. During her acceptance speech in a reference to another role she played, she stated “The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!” Therein is the question at the heart of the matter. “Do they really like me?” How can a person be sure? Is there a test? Most people would like to know the answer to this question before they put their trust in someone else. Of course, in some situations such as a banker and their customers, the relationship must not always rely on liking for there to be trust. Still, a great number of people will not do their banking in certain places unless this attribute exists.

StumbleUpon, Facebook, Youtube, and other social networks utilize “liking”. Do they really like me? Sorry, but if the “likes” counter doesn’t go crazy, many folks feel they aren’t liked. How many “friends” does an individual have on their messenger type program or their email list? Is this how they should measure their worth or contribution to society? It is conceded the answer is no, but still… people want to be liked. They want to have some type of measure to determine it is real – not just a “click through”. Of course, social media has enabled the “review” or “comment” field. This is great! However, is summarizing an article or pointing out its positive characteristics a direct reflection regarding how one individual feels toward another? It should be hoped not or a great number of authors may be jumping off bridges when they receive their editor’s comments and revision points.

It has been said, “To have a friend, you must be a friend.” The concept behind this is if you want to be liked, be likeable. “All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them” were the words Jesus spoke. This seems to confirm the logic of being a friend to have a friend. Jesus spoke many words of social harmony including “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Certainly, acting in an opposite fashion will not gather people who really like you. They may pretend for other reasons, but they won’t like the person you are. However, being likeable doesn’t always guarantee a great number of true friends either.

Being liked should not be an end in itself. There are politicians who have taken the politically correct, please the world view, so nice things will be said about them, while at the same time pointing their countries down economic and moral ruin. The desire to be liked should not point actions in an opposite direction to moral absolutes. How many people contradict themselves from one day to the next just to get “likes” from those who won’t be happy if they speak the truth? What will be found in a review of history is those who spoke truth were most greatly liked and hated by the world around them. They didn’t let poll numbers sway their conviction from doing what was right. Everyone does not have to be a friend in order for an individual to be liked.

While there is not a fool proof test to determine whether or not someone likes you, there are some indicators from a person’s life that give strong indications.

1) Is the individual’s behavior toward you drastically different from the way they treat others? If this is the case, beware! For a person to act completely out of character toward you, is very possibly a sign they “like” you so they can get something out of it. Popularity? Money? Power?

2) Is the individual known as a kind, honest person? The quality of a person and their track record of interaction with others is something which has a high correlation. If they say they like you, they most likely do.

3) Does this individual ask and think about your welfare or are they just concerned about themselves? It is sad how many relationships go on for years when it is realized the relationship was one sided from the beginning. Liking someone means being concerned about their feelings and needs, not just that of self. Many marriages fail for lack of this understanding this concept.

4) Will this person tell you when you are wrong and try to help you do what is right? “Yes men” are not concerned about the well being of others. A person who really likes you will kindly disagree and try to enable you to make better decisions. They won’t desert you when opinions clash.

The question of being liked is pondered by folks the whole world over. For the individual who desires to be liked, their job is to be the type of person someone would want to have as a friend. They should not compromise values or truth to be liked. When pondering if one’s associates are truly friends, the character of the persons being considered must be examined. At that point you determine what you are going to do, trust or not trust? End the friendship or try to strengthen it. If it feels like humankind can no longer be trusted, maybe consider buying a dog. Then you can be liked and licked.

Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loveth at all times; And a brother is born for adversity.