Happiness and Pleasure

Happiness and Pleasure

Have you ever finished a good book wishing there were more to the story? Have you ever watched a movie leaving the theater unsatisfied? Perhaps after a good meal you’ve wished there were more to come. Such things clearly provide us with momentary pleasure, but our desire for more belies our unhappiness. Why are we so unhappy in our society today? We are the most prosperous nation on the earth yet one out of every four individuals in our nation has some kind of depression. What are we doing wrong?

Are you confusing happiness and pleasure?

Are you confusing happiness and pleasure?

Are we confusing pleasure with happiness? Many feel that their personal happiness rests upon having one pleasurable moment after another. They reason that they simply aren’t happy unless each moment is filled with pleasure. We need to stop thinking this way and look at happiness from a differently. Happiness does not depend merely upon having pleasurable moments, but rather, upon whether or not we are content or satisfied with the moments that come our way. In other words, I don’t have to feel pleasure from something in order to be happy. Is this a strange concept to you?

The word “pleasure” connotes the idea of enjoyment due to momentary gratification. The word “happiness,” however, contains the idea of a prolonged state of satisfaction and contentment associated with one’s overall circumstances. We ask, “Are you happy?” and we mean by that question to know about one’s general conditions in life. We ask, “Are you pleased?” and mean whether one is satisfied with a particular item.

Happiness is a state of mind. We can be happy regardless the situation we are in. Paul said in Philippians 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always: again I say, rejoice.” We can control our state of mind by focusing upon happy things. Pleasure, however, is a feeling experienced in the body. The Proverbs writer said, “He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man: he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich” ( Proverbs 21:17). The Hebrew parallel here indicates that loving pleasure is the same as loving “wine and oil,” things associated with bodily pleasure. As Christians we are to focus upon the spiritual, not the physical ( Colossians 3:2).

Happiness rests upon contentment. Paul tells Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” One blessing that comes from contentment is an indescribable happiness which cannot be easily subverted. On the other hand, pleasure is often driven by boredom or being malcontent. When we are malcontent we seek for something to stimulate our senses so as to create bodily pleasure. We simply end up unsatisfied after the experience has ended, or craving more in an addictive like behavior. Solomon experienced this as recorded in Ecclesiastes 2:1 “I said in mine heart, Go to now, I will prove thee with mirth, therefore enjoy pleasure: and, behold, this also is vanity.” Proverbs 14:13 states, “Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.” Let us learn contentment if we desire to be happy.

Happiness is satisfied with “clean fun.” It is interesting that the word “fun” is not in the Bible. We do find, however, that God “gives us richly all things to enjoy” ( 1 Timothy 6:17). In that regard, God’s gifts are pure and unadulterated. James 1:17 states, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” On the other hand, pleasure often delves into sinfulness. Paul spoke to Timothy of a time when men would be “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” ( 2 Timothy 3:4) and the Hebrew writer spoke of Moses who chose not to “enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season” ( Hebrews 11:25). Sinful activities may produce pleasure but ultimately provide no lasting happiness.

Let’s resolve to seek happiness regardless of our circumstances, to base our happiness upon contentment, and to enjoy the good things God has given while shunning sin in our lives. By so doing, we can avoid confusing pleasure with happiness.

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Husbands

Husbands, It Wasn’t a Suggestion

Men, how many times has your wife nagged you in the past week or two? Or better yet, how many times have you felt neglected in the bedroom? Or maybe she is putting on some pounds as she ages? Or maybe her cooking leaves a lot to be desired? Ever felt like she neglects the house or laundry?

Husbands love your wife!

Husbands love your wife!

I suspect you are not alone. I’ve heard more than my fair share of complaints from men who are not “happy” or satisfied in their current marriage. Here’s the deal; the problem is not your wife. The problem is you! For you see, there is a command in the Bible that most men overlook or just downplay to make themselves feel more comfortable—a command that can radically change their marriage and make it so much better.

Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28).

Love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Men this is a command—not a suggestion. The text does not say “love your wife when she is pleasant” or “love your wife when she pleases you in the bedroom.” God’s command is to LOVE YOUR WIFE. The only “condition” He places on this command is that we are to love our wives like Christ loved the church. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t cook your favorite meal or if she has put on a few pounds. It doesn’t matter if she’s emotional or doesn’t have the laundry folded. Your command is to love your wife.

Take a moment today and consider what would happen if Jesus Christ placed “conditions” on His love for the church. What if Jesus acted like some Christian men who only show love according to how they are treated? Or worse, what if Jesus wasn’t happy about the church and decided the grass might be greener elsewhere?

Friends, here is the truth—before we mount a campaign to defend God’s institution against same-sex marriage we would do well to make sure we are obeying His commands about how to treat one another. We should inspect the foundations of our own marriages and consider the pattern we have been setting for our children.

Not happy in your marriage? Not satisfied with your spouse? Believe the grass is greener somewhere else? Maybe you should spend time watering your own lawn and LOVE YOUR WIFE like God commanded you, rather than walking away to find someone you think will please your “needs.” After all, it’s not all about you—it’s about Him. And your unhappiness might be just where God wants you to bring Him the most glory. Stop focusing so much on yourself and focus on obeying Him. You might be surprised…your grass might just turn green right before your eyes.

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Will You Hear?

Hear

The Bible places a great amount of importance on hearing. To each of the seven churches in Asia as John records in Revelation 2-3, the Lord said, “He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.” James states, “But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer , but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed” (James 1:25). Yet, when it comes to the plan of salvation that God has devised, the apostle Paul said it best:

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? (Rom. 10:13-14)

Thus, we know what Jesus has done two millennia ago to provide salvation for humanity, but the first step for human acquisition is to hear this great message in order to know it!

We have to hear what God is saying to us, and the only way that this may happen is to gain an understanding of the word of God. It must come from one who really wants to listen. Sometimes wives chide their husbands, “You have not heard a word I said!” When it comes to God, we must desire to hear Him. The Parable of the Sower illustrates this in Luke 8—four types of soil represented four kinds of hearers, but only one group really listened (Luke 8:4-15). We must be extremely careful that we do not develop “deaf ears,” or as Jesus explained, “…their ears are dull of hearing” (Matt. 13:15). I am convinced that this is one of the greatest problems today—people do not want to listen, and even if they do “hear,” they are not really listening to the warnings about error, immorality, indifference, procrastination and such like that God wants humanity to know! As a preacher, the late VE Howard’s trademark was the question, “Are you listening?”

Hearing is necessary if sinners are to correct their lives. The gospel is intended to save, because it convicts sinners (cf. 1 John 2:1-3). People may have two good ears, but this does not mean that they will hear anything that they need to hear to motivate them to become pleasing to God. In an aforementioned verse, Jesus declared,

For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing , and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them (Matt. 13:15).

A failure to hear is very costly. Years ago, a certain publication carried an article saying that large corporations are now beginning to teach courses to their employees on how to listen. According to the article, learning efficiency in industry is less than 50% (think of the cost!), while senior officials spend up to 80% of their time in discussion with others. One time, an industrial plant had a serious problem, which took months and much expense to track down and fix. After its solution, a young employee told a personnel manager, “I have known what the problem was from the beginning.” When asked why he did not tell anyone, he replied, “I told the superintendent and the foreman, and neither one listened!” When it comes to the soul-saving message of Jesus Christ, a failure to hear is very costly!

In Matthew 11:15, Jesus said, “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.” Everyone needs to hear Jesus as He says,

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yolk upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matt. 11:28-30).

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Nobody’s Perfect

Perfect?

To be perfect is a divine achievement.

To be perfect is a divine achievement.

Did you watch the 2011 Super Bowl?  Wow, what a game!  The Patriots were trying to do something that only one other NFL team has ever accomplished, and the Giants were out to prove that they not only belonged in the big game, but that they could beat the unbeatable.  The Patriots were undefeated; they were one win away from a perfect season. As the clock was winding down, they were even winning…that is, until the Giants spoiled their quest with a game-winning touchdown with 35 seconds left.  Yet, even if the Patriots had won, they would not have been perfect.  Why I’m sure that if you were to look at the stats for the whole year you would find that at some point they had incomplete passes and interceptions, fumbles and missed field goals, penalties and injuries (etc.).

It strikes me that life is a lot like that.  Our successes were not flawless and our failures were not always the worst of the worst.  The simple fact is, no matter how much we may succeed, we’re simply not perfect.  I am reminded of that when I read passages like Romans 3:23, which says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” or James 3:2 which says, “For we all stumble in many things…”  While that is no license to sin, it is a reminder that we are weak and frail creatures who are in constant need of a Savior.  Christ is perfect, and we will be perfected in Him if we obey Him and are faithful to the very end (1 Thess. 5:23)…and that is a victory we can win!

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Rule of Happiness

NINE RULES OF HAPPINESS

Let Happiness Rule in Your Life!

Let Happiness Rule In Your Life!

Rule # 1 Live a simple life. Don’t plan too many things each day. Be temperate and moderate in lifestyle.

Rule # 2 Spend less than you earn. This may be difficult to do, but it pays big dividends in contentment and peace of mind.

Rule # 3 Think constructively. Store useful thoughts in your mind. As one thinks in his heart–so is he.

Rule # 4 Cultivate a flexible disposition. Resist the tendency to want your own way. Try to see another person’s point of view.

Rule # 5 Be grateful. Begin each day with a prayer of thanksgiving for all your blessings. Let God know you are grateful.

Rule # 6 Rule your moods. Your mental attitude is all important in living at peace with others.

Rule # 7 Give generously. Intelligent giving of your time, talents, personality, and money will bring great joy.

Rule # 8 Work with the right motives. Seek to grow in favor with God and man, seeking his will first in your life.

Rule # 9 Be interested in others. As we serve others, we reap happiness as a by-product of a life of self giving.

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