Mental Health
Over the past six months I’ve seen a serious uptick in private messages from parents expressing concern for their children’s mental health.
Many have pointed back to Covid and the quarantine as a possible trigger for the change in behavior. According the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) this uptick is real. In 2021, the CDC reported more than 4 in 10 (42%) students felt persistently sad or hopeless and nearly one-third (29%) experienced poor mental health.
They also noted more than 1 in 5 (22%) students seriously considered attempting suicide and 1 in 10 (10%) attempted suicide. Suicide now ranks as the second leading cause of death in young people.
Add to this the impact social media is having on young people. In a study released in March 2017, the Center for Research on Media reported frequent use of social media platforms such as Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram caused depression, anxiety, and feelings of social isolation.
So, even though we are the most connected generation in history, our children feel more depressed, anxious, isolated, and suicide is on the increase.
But it’s not just young people. Pew research recently reported at least four-in-ten U.S. adults have faced high levels of psychological distress during COVID-19 pandemic. In 2020, the National Alliance on Mental Health reported that 21% of U.S. adults experienced a mental health condition.
The church is not immune to this issue. Many of our members are walking around with brain fog, anxiety, or depression. Many Christian homes are truly suffering today, and sadly mental health is one of those topics that our culture does not discuss.
And so instead of becoming a healing balm for those who are anxious or depressed, many church families simply ignore the problem and hope it goes away. Until finally, one day we get the horrible news that one of the young people in the youth group has taken their own life.
Having studied this area—and having had a close relative who suffered with mental illness, I want to share one area that I think needs to be addressed:
Our culture has become addicted to screens and it is literally killing many of our young people. And sadly, too many Christian parents have turned a blind eye.
I want to offer ten practical steps that will help improve the mental health of your family:
- Do not let children under 13 years old have their own phone/device. Yes, I know your children will “hate you” and you will not be considered cool. But that’s okay. God didn’t call you to be cool. He called you to be their parent. Introducing young children to their own device often leads to addiction, dependence, and even an early introduction into pornography. The longer you can put off handing your child their own phone the better!
- On the coattails of that one, dramatically cut down screen time, even in older children—take media fasts. Look at how much screen time your children average on their phones (you can check it under settings). We should be good stewards of the time God has given us, and part of that is how much time we are blankly staring at a screen.
In too many cases screens have become objects of our worship. Don’t believe me? Walk into any restaurant and just observe how many people are glued to their phones. People would rather stare at a screen than carry on a conversation with a live human. - Do not use screens as a baby-sitter. I get it, there are times you may need a break. But constantly handing your child your phone to watch videos is not the answer. Look for better ways to stimulate children’s interest and help them develop a natural curiosity for the world around them.
- Don’t feed discontentment. Our children are seeing their friends post beautiful pictures (not realizing it took 37 tries just to get that one good picture)—and they wonder, “Why don’t I look that good?” Or “Why isn’t my life that nice?” Or “Why can’t my family get along like that?” What they fail to realize is that that one picture represents a fake virtual world.
This discontentment feeds depression. Satan has convinced us that we must have perfect teeth, perfect hair, and perfect families—families without blemishes. Social media like Facebook and Instagram have fed these lies, encouraging Christians to only display pictures of a beautiful happy family. (As a result, Christians often never share what is really going on at home and in many cases, we are left to suffer all alone through our issues.) - Encourage/force your child to read books (including the Bible!). Let’s be honest, those screens are awesome at delivering cool games and movies to our children. However, these devices are dramatically reducing attention spans, because of the massive stream of new images to look at.
Eventually this causes permanent changes in the brain, as their brains get used to rapid-fire visuals. In turn this causes tasks that require concentration or don’t have a rapid stream of images to feel unpleasant. This would include things like sitting through a sermon, prayer, or Bible reading. They simply cannot compete with the “pleasure” of web surfing, TV watching or video gaming. - Don’t promote division and strife! Screens oftentimes promote division and negative feelings, even within our church families. Consider how many times you’ve watched comments get ugly simply because someone disagreed with someone’s post.
Consider how many times people use social media to vent about some particular issue going on within the culture. Paul wrote, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). - Force your children to go outside and observe the handiwork of God. In Romans 1:20 Paul writes about seeing and perceiving the invisible attributes of God. Our children can’t see or understand those things unless they put down the screen and go observe His creation.
- Help your child to “be still and know” (Psalm 46:10). In many cases the brains of our children are like an engine that is close to overheating. They are revved up from information (and stimulation) overload! What they really need in many cases is just some quiet time—and some alone time with God.
- Help limit temptation. Screens often tempt viewers. Maybe they tempt us to buy things we really don’t need. Maybe they tempt us to keep looking at videos or playing games. Or maybe they tempt us by promoting lust of the flesh.
In 1 John 2:15-16 we read, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” - Encourage face-to-face contact! In too many instances young people would rather text someone in the same room with them than have a real-life conversation. This is not healthy. If our children are going to evangelize and make disciples then they need to know how to talk to people. John wrote, “Having many things to write to you, I did not wish to do so with paper and ink; but I hope to come to you and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.”
While these 10 practical applications won’t cure every mental health issue, they can certainly help many young people who are suffering today.
Take the time to shift your child’s attention toward God and away from screens. It will bring you both more peace and joy in the future.