Relationship Problems with David and Michal
All marriages suffer difficulties and problems of some sorts. Husbands and wives will have differences of opinions from time to time, and must communicate and compromise to work through tough times. Thus, it should not surprise us to see the king of Israel come home from a victorious day to a turbulent home (2 Sam. 6:12-23). Let us see if we can understand this dubious passage.
First, we introduce the story with a death—the background to this incident in Second Samuel 6 is the familiar account of Uzzah touching the Ark of the Covenant and God punishing him with instant death. Of course, the Law of Moses was quite clear that only Levites (specifically, the descendants of Kohath) may bear the Ark of the Covenant upon their shoulders. Yet, they tried to transport the Ark of the Covenant on an oxcart, and death resulted.
Then, we note the displeasure of David (6:8). David questions God, but after a respite of three months at the house of Obed-edom, the Gittite, to which David learns that God blessed the bearer of the Ark of the Covenant during this time, evidently David enquires from the Law of God how to transport properly the Ark of the Covenant and correctly brings it into Jerusalem as he should have done it the first time (cf. 1 Chron. 15:26).
Then, we note the occasion of dancing (6:14-16). As the Ark of the Covenant enters Jerusalem, there are sacrifices commemorating the occasion (6:13). All of the pomp and ceremony is not for the purpose of glorifying David, but for the purpose of glorifying God—the focus is on God! There were the sacrifices, singing (1 Chron. 15:27) and musical instruments likely being played, trumpets blaring and people shouting (6:15), celebration with food (6:19) and David dancing. Of course, the fact that we see David dancing is strange to those of us who live under the new covenant, but we should understand that God allowed (to be more specific, authorized by inspiration) this physical, carnal form of worship under the old covenant. Not only do we find this type of glorifying God from Miriam and the women in celebration of their victory over the Egyptians in Exodus 15:20-22, but we also see David, by inspiration, writing many psalms that indicate such: “Praise him with the timbrel and dance” (150:4). No, David was not dancing with other women. No, David was not dancing in the same fashion as we typically think of dancing that we would consider to be a work of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-21). Yes, he was dancing and rejoicing to God (along with all the house of Israel) in an acceptable fashion under the old covenant, because the occasion called for it!
Then, we note his dress—David wore a linen ephod (6:14). This was a garment usually reserved for the priests (cf. 1 Sam. 2:18; 22:18). It is strange for him to wear such, and it very well could have been considered an undergarment (cf. Ex. 28:42; Mark 14:51-52). Nevertheless, it may have typified his humility on this occasion, being grateful after all that has transpired up to this point in time, and after the Ark of the Covenant being gone from the tabernacle for such a long period of time—decades if we go all the way back to the events of First Samuel 4-7—to finally see the Ark of the Covenant rest in the city of Jerusalem that he would establish as the city of God.
Finally, all of this prepares us for her despising (6:16-23). There she is, looking out the window—Michal sees her husband, David, “leaping and dancing before the Lord, and she despised him in her heart.” Here is the key to the rest of this passage. While the entire nation, with David as their leader, celebrates this victory to God, his wife watches it all and despises him (in the midst of what is ongoing). Does this not remind us of her father, Saul? We have heard the axiom, “Like father, like son,” but maybe here, we ought to think, “Like father, like daughter,” for we see this same type of reaction from Saul after David’s victory over Goliath. While David and the people are rejoicing over their victory from the Philistines, Saul is seething over how the people are cheering over David, and this seems to be what is happening here in the reaction from Michal. Thus, when she sees him next, we not only hear sarcasm dripping from her words, but it is possible that she chooses words to exaggerate: “How glorious was the king of Israel today, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!” (6:20). It is because of her despising that she exaggerates what she thinks to be a fault within—he may have worn a garment that one may construe to be inappropriate, possibly even an undergarment, but this does not mean that he was lewd, neither does it mean that he sinned. Anytime one tries to find fault in others because they are filled with despising, we usually always see little specks exaggerated! He responds that he did nothing wrong, the things that he did were focused towards God, that he was the rightful king, not her father, and that because of her attitude, she would likely never view him again without some sort of disdain, although he clearly did nothing wrong (6:21-22).
Thus, we see the account end sadly in the fact that she bore no child unto her death (6:23). This is what harsh attitudes may do, even in relationships of husbands and wives. Whenever one person begins to despise another (for whatever reason), we see a breakdown within the relationship, exaggerated mistakes, motives judged and harsh accusations. May the breakdown between the relationship of this husband and wife teach us some valuable lessons within our own relationships.