Recently, the televangelist Pat Roberson made some alarming comments in response to a caller/viewer who asked concerning one dating another while his or her spouse has the dreaded Alzheimer’s disease. From his comments, he insinuated with approval that a spouse could divorce his or her debilitated spouse in order to date/marry another. His reasoning was that the disease produced a type of death in the marital relationship. Naturally, his comments produced an outcry from many.
Let me state immediately that I have no personal connection with this dreaded disease. I am not experienced with such. I have witnessed it from afar with various individuals, but I have not walked in the shoes of those who lived the living tragedy of watching a loved one suffer. Thus, any comments regarding this are solely from the perspective of what the Bible states and not from personal experience.
Nevertheless, anytime we approach any moral issue, including such delicate issues as this, we are to look to the word of God as our standard of right and wrong, rather than our experiences. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for…instruction in righteousness” (II Timothy 3:16). From this, Paul instructs us that we are to use the inspired word of God to mold our convictions in all matters of morality and religion. This is why it is critical for parents to teach and instruct their children with regards to what God says, so that when they become adults and face tough temptations and deal with critical issues, their instruction in the word of God will serve as their basis of authority. Experience may serve a valuable purpose in the acquisition of wisdom, but unless there is the proper respect for God (cf. Proverbs 1:7) and in conjunction with this, respect for his word, experience may lead one down the wrong path, just as it did the prodigal son.
When the Pharisees tempted Jesus with a question regarding divorce, he took them back “at the beginning” and showed the commitment that God desires within the relationship—“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:3-6). The comments that Pat Robertson made actually scare me when I consider the vows of commitment that couples make before God and witnesses: “Do you promise to love and to cherish, to honor and to sustain, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, in good and in bad and to be true in all things until death alone shall part?” From the comments he has made, I have no doubt that he would have to change the vows he uses in conducting wedding ceremonies. Where is the lifelong commitment that God desires in godly marriages? Such is sadly indicative of this generation. While at one time we would see most marriages dissolve after 2-7 years, many more now are dissolving even after 25-30 years. Again, I ask, “Where is the commitment in marriage?”
Therefore, while we have seen various individuals attempting to circumnavigate the word of God through their personal redefinition of terms (redefining the term “adultery” or even that which President Clinton did years ago), we see Pat Robertson attempt to redefine the term “death” in this unfortunate circumstance. While my heart bleeds for all those who struggle and suffer unimaginable pain in dealing with spouses who suffer with Alzheimer’s, I do not believe Paul had this in mind when he declared, “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband” (Romans 7:2). It is to be as God planned, Jesus explained and the inspired apostle Paul stated—one man and one woman, cleaving together as one flesh until death (which James defines as “…the body without the spirit is dead,” James 2:26) should part them.
May God bless all of our marriages to be godly marriages, and may we reach out with support and comfort to all whose spouses struggle with Alzheimer’s.