I know of no institution of society that has undergone such drastic changes in the past 50 years as the American family. The family unit that existed 50 years ago was normally thought to consist of a man, a woman, and children. The extended family of 50 years ago normally was thought to be made up of parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and nieces. A great deal has changed in the family and in the attitudes of society toward the family unit described in the Bible. In this study we want to examine some of the changes and compare them with the God sanctioned definition of the family, please stay with us as we develop this study.
Today, there are several groups of very militant people that have successfully altered the concept of the American family. The homosexual/lesbian alliance have insisted that two women or two men make a family unit and this living arrangement has been blessed by the court system in America so that they are today entitled to adopt children and raise them according to this perverted lifestyle. There is also a lifestyle today that consists of a man and a woman who agree to live together without benefit of marriage (i.e. two people involved in continuous fornication). This lifestyle exists because such individuals consider marriage and submitting to God’s ordinances of marriage as irrelevant. The two lifestyles discussed in this paragraph are not acceptable to God. God condemns these two humanly devised substitutes for marriage; we will discuss God’s law regarding the family unit and family values later on in this study.
No list of lifestyles is complete without giving some space to the single Parent family unit. Now, the single parent family unit may occur in society due to at least three causes – perhaps there may be more reasons that I will list here.
1. Because of unlawful deed – (i.e. rape)
2. Because of Divorce.
3. Because of the death of one of the married partners.
I do not see that this particular family situation can be avoided. Although I do not see how these kinds of families can be avoided I suggest that if the individual that is widowed scripturally divorced seek to remarry, they try to find a Christian partner. Indeed,, sometimes a Christian (i.e. one that seems to be so), is no better than an unbeliever, but the chances for a successful second marriage is still greater if the person you marry is a true Christian.
THE BIBLE ON GOD’S FAMILY AND FAMILY VALUES
In the beginning God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the Garden of Eden – cf.,
Genesis 1:27, “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (ASV)
Genesis 2:21-25, “21 And Jehovah God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof:22 and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (ASV)
God did not create anyone else at this time but equipped Adam and Eve in such a fashion that they could procreate together – cf., Genesis 1:27-28, “27 And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them: and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (ASV)
The Bible further shows that Adam and Eve did began to multiply – cf. Genesis 4:1-2, “1 And the man knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man with (the help of) Jehovah. 2 And again she bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” (ASV)
Since God created the man and then created the woman for the man, any departure from this divine plan (i.e. homosexual, lesbian, or lying with beasts) is unacceptable to God. For man to assume that any other family arrangement is acceptable to God is sinful and will eternally condemn the perpetuator of the unnatural act. – cf. Revelation 22:18-19, “18 I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, if any man shall add unto them, God shall add unto him the plagues which are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the tree of life, and out of the holy city, which are written in this book.” (ASV)
NOTE: God has always condemned sexual relationships between men and men and between women and women as is stated in – cf. Romans 1:26-32, “26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile passions: for their women changed the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working unseemliness, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was due. 28 And even as they refused to have God in (their) knowledge, God gave them up unto a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 backbiters, hateful to God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 without understanding, covenant-breakers, without natural affection, unmerciful: 32 who, knowing the ordinance of God, that they that practice such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but also consent with them that practice them.” (ASV)
GOD’S ATTITUDE TOWARD FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
In God’s plan for the family unit the plan in perfection includes a man, a woman, and children. Such a family unit may be found in Genesis as we look at the very first family unit that came into existence, God apparently approved the Genesis family for nothing is said that would indicate otherwise. The Biblical concept described above does not exclude other God approved family situations.
1. The man or woman who desires to remain single
2. The one parent family unit – where one parent is no longer included in the family due to legitimate (i.e. God acceptable) reasons.
DUTIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS
There is a great responsibility placed upon the husband and wife as parents in God’s family values system. The Bible teaches that the parents have several joint responsibilities in the family unit; they are:
1. Provide materially for their children – 2 Corinthians 12:14, “Behold, this is the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be a burden to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.” (ASV)
A. Schooling (i.e. a reasonable education)
B. Food
C. Clothing
D. Shelter
E. Peace, contentment, safety, freedom from fear, etc.
F. Spiritual example (i.e. father & mother give the children spiritual guidance)
2. Provide a nurturing environment for the children – Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” (ASV)
3. Provide love and affection for the children – Matthew 7:9-11, “9 Or what man is there of you, who, if his son shall ask him for a loaf, will give him a stone; 10 or if he shall ask for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (ASV)
RESPONSIBILITIES THAT FATHER, MOTHER, AND CHILDREN SHARE; JOINTLY
1. Jointly work together to provide a happy home
2. Jointly work together to cooperate in family activities
3. Jointly look out for one another’s well being
4. Jointly work together to help each other get to heaven
FATHER’S RESPONSIBILITY
1. Provide for the family (i.e. primary provider) – Genesis 3:19, “in the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it was thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shall thou return.” (ASV)
2. Be a good husband and father by example – encourage spirituality in the family unit.
The father that is a Christian will be an example of spirituality to everyone in the community and surely he is also to be an example to his own family, note the following Bible references that establish this point:
Matthew 5:13, “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out and trodden under foot of men.” (ASV)
Matthew 5:14, “Ye are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid.” (ASV)
Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (ASV)
Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord.” (ASV)
MOTHER’S RESPONSIBILITY
There is an old adage about mothers that is not used very much today but it is still the truth if applied as God instructs – “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world.” From this adage, one understands that even nations and kings are influenced by their mother while young and in the development stages. This tells mothers to be conscious of the great role that they still play in God’s family value system.
1. Mothers ought to honored and respected – Ephesians 6:2, “Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise),” (ASV)
2. Mothers (i.e. wives) are to be loved and cherished by their husbands – Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it;” (ASV)
3. Mothers have some of the same responsibilities as the father in God’s system of family values –
See father’s responsibilities previously studied.
4. Mothers and grand-mothers ought to teach their children about God and the things of God –
2 Timothy 1:5, “having been reminded of the unfeigned faith that is in thee; which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in thee also.” (ASV)
CHILDREN’S RESPONSIBILITIES
1. Children should obey their parents – Ephesians 6:1-3, “1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), 3 that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (ASV)
Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth.” (ASV)
2. Children ought to be in subjection (i.e. obedient to) to their parents –
1 Timothy 3:4, “one that ruleth well his own house, having (his) children in subjection with all gravity;” (ASV)
1 Timothy 3:12, “Let deacons be husbands of one wife, ruling (their) children and their own houses well.” (ASV)
Titus 1:6, “if any man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having children that believe, who are not accused of riot or unruly.” (ASV)
3. Children ought to provide for their needy parents, etc. –
1 Timothy 5:4, “But if any widow hath children or grandchildren, let them learn first to show piety towards their own family, and to requite their parents: for this is acceptable in the sight of God.” (ASV)
4. Children ought to become Christians when they reach accountable age – Children that are Christians are a joy unto their parents and their Heavenly Father; they are also examples to the community in which they live.
5. Children should honor their parents – Ephesians 6:2-3, “2 Honor thy father and mother (which is the first commandment with promise), 3 that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (ASV)
THE FAMILY UNIT and RESPONSIBILITY TO GOD
There is a great failure on the part of many families today in the relationship that they sustain to God. Many families today are regular in their attendance at some place of worship but fail to put God and the things of God first in their priorities of day to day living, Note the statement in Matthew 6:33, “But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (ASV) – It is not difficult to understand this passage of Scripture but it seems difficult for many families to put this concept into action in their lives. I do not believe that we really give serious attention to this instruction because we think that we do not have time to stop and consider the things that we are involved with as distractions from serving and obeying God’s instructions here in Matthew 6:33. It is possible that we never stop and consider that we have erred in some phase of everyday life so we do nothing about it. We do not consider the Lord’s pleadings with us as in 1 John 2:1-4, “1 My little children, these things write I unto you that ye may not sin. And if any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: 2 and he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the whole world. 3 And hereby we know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him;” (ASV) Some advice about strengthening the bond in the family unit:
1. Have family prayer at meals – at home or at a restaurant.
2. Have family together Bible study about some subject of interest to everyone in the family.
3. Make it a practice to invite friends and guests to worship with you if they plan to be in your home during times for worship with the church.
4. As a family prepare cards and notes to mail out to the sick and shut-in in the church at home as a family.
5. Invite neighbors to attend worship and gospel meetings with you.
6. Make sure that you always set a good example for your neighbors.
7. Always make a special effort to attend services when the whole church comes together.
CONSIDER THIS: Ultimately, everything that the family ought to be is attainable through a knowledge of the Written Word (i.e. the BIBLE). The family that practices true Christian lifestyles will be a shining light in the community not only as Christians but as representatives of Christ’s church. Just as the church that is approved of by God ourselves the Divine Pattern found in the Bible, also the family unit that pleases God follows the Divine Pattern found in the Bible.
Genesis 2:22-24, “22 and the rib, which Jehovah God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (ASV)
Mark 10:6-9, “6 But from the beginning of the creation, Male and female made he them. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; 8 and the two shall become one flesh: so that they are no more two, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (ASV)
The family unit is designed by God to last until the children are grown and continue until the parents pass on to be with the Lord. Make it a good adventure through life!