(The following article is based on a letter written to a person who asked for help on how to escape the addiction of pornography. I am not a certified counselor nor a psychologist. Individuals with serious addiction problems may need to get professional help. However, the following information is provided as steps that an individual may take in his own personal life to try to deal with the problem. I set it forth here in an effort to help those who have such a problem to escape this insidious sin.)
Porn brings trouble and pain with it.
Dear _________:
The first thing you need to do is to get some software that will block your computer from getting access to it on the Internet. If you really want to stop doing this, then this is absolutely the first thing that must be done. Have someone else that you personally know install it with a password that you don’t know so that you can’t uninstall it. I would recommend the American Family Association software. Once that is installed, it is very difficult to remove and the user cannot control what is or isn’t blocked. That is done from the AFA’s databases.
Second, don’t stop confessing your sin to God (1 John 1:9). You need continue to confess to God each time you stumble and fall and ask God’s forgiveness. If you fail to acknowledge your fault to God, then you will find it easier and easier to do it again and again, but if you know that you have been forgiven for it, that will give you strength to fight committing this sin. Prayer and confession are powerful tools in the arsenal against addiction to porn.
Third, you’ve got to resolve in your mind that you are not going to to do this. Don’t look at any web sites that have to do with girls at all. Don’t rationalize in your own head that you can look at bikinis or underwear models and stop there. Don’t even start. You can’t look at those things anymore. You have to get this through your head and have the self discipline that is necessary to move beyond this. When you experience a strong desire to look at porn, go for a walk, run, or get some exercise and wear yourself out. This will help you get your mind off these things for a while and you can renew the battle afresh. These things will also help you with self discipline as well.
Fourth, if you are not married, then you need to find a mate (1 Corinthians 7:2). If you are married, then you need to talk to your mate about this problem and have her help you with it. Marriage is God’s solution for the avoidance of fornication. Here is where such passions may be pursued with God’s blessing. Take care to get married appropriately, however, and not MERELY for the purpose of trying to avoid porn. There’s more to marriage than sex.
Fifth, I would also recommend that you talk to someone personally about this problem so that you have some direct to deal with it. If someone else knows about your problem, that is great motivation for you not to do it. But so long as no one else knows, then you will continue to be strongly tempted. James 5:16 tells us to confess our faults one to another and pray for one another. This is VERY important in the life of the Christian in overcoming sin. While it may be embarrassing and difficult to do, you will find relief in following this simple advice.
There is no guarantee that if you do these things that you will no longer be addicted to porn. You may need to get professional help in order to overcome it. But, here are five things that you can start doing to work on this problem. Now, get with it.
Sincerely in Christ,
Kevin Cauley