Should I marry her? This is a question that stretches beyond your lifetime.
Ah, boy meets girl. It’s instant chemistry. She’s cute, he’s funny, and both of them like the ocean. He’s not like the other boys. She isn’t bossy. After multiple makeout sessions and further praise by friends about how good looking they are together, marriage is proposed, accepted, and accomplished. This story is like a great many that occur every single day. Unfortunately, the two of them aren’t as similar as they thought. They based their relationship on the physical rather than enduring principles of value and belief. Constant friction often results. Divorce may occur. The most frequent outcome is children who grow up with conflicting sets of values and end up confused in regard to the type of person they should be. Such poorly conceived relationships as this have been occurring since early in man’s history.
In scripture, there is a term “sons of God”. It is used eleven times in scripture. Six of those occurrences are within the New Testament. Of those six occurrences in the New Testament, the reference is 100% in reference to man (John 1:12, Romans 8:14, Romans 8:19, Philippians 2:15, I John 3:1, 2). The understanding given by those texts is that sons of God are men who walk in obedience to God. They are blameless followers of Christ. Not coincidently, the phrase “children of God” is used 9 times in the Bible (all New Testament) and only refers to faithful man. In the Old Testament, the five verses using the term “sons of God” are found in Genesis 6 and Job 1, 2, and 38. There is an inclination by the majority of commentators to refer to these “sons of God” as angels, though according to Hebrews 1:5 no angel has ever been called a son of God. Angels being sons of God would be in direct contrast to every New Testament reference, so it bears a brief, but closer look. Job 1:6 and 2:1 discuss the “sons of God” coming together. Some suggest this is a heavenly scene, but Satan is not a being who is in heaven. Satan had long been cast upon the earth. The reference in both Job passages is to the gathering of faithful followers of God upon the earth. Would it be any shock to know that Satan would gather around these to see whom he could devour (I Peter 5:8)? The other reference to “sons of God” is in Job 38:7. Because the context is the creation, it is hard to reconcile this to mean man. However, it is also not conclusive that this term could be angels for it could very well be discussing the creations of God, his newborn worlds. In context and hand in hand with Hebrews 1:5, this is most likely. This leaves only the Genesis 6 references for examination. It is these passages that will be the focus for the remainder of this article.
Genesis 6 has as its context mankind’s devolution into sinfulness. How is sin allowed to corrupt mankind anyway? The answer is: Sin is tolerated. When it is tolerated, it is replicated. When it is replicated, holiness is desecrated. This is why in I Corinthians 5:6-7, Paul encourages the Corinthian Church to cast out the leaven (sin), so they would not all be ruined. Looking back to Genesis 6:1-2, man was multiplying on the earth. The sons of God (faithful men) saw the daughters of men who were beautiful and they married. Yes, this could have very easily been written the daughters of God saw sons of men who were handsome and they married. The point to be taken is the lineage. One group was of God the other of man. According to Romans 9:8, “…They which are the children of the flesh, these are not the children of God…” “Daughters of men” is a reference to those who were not faithful to God, those who were of fleshly deeds (sin). Faithful people were marrying unfaithful people because they were attracted to one another. The result was what Paul warned about. Sin corrupted the family. This is why there are passages such as I Corinthians 7:39 and 2 Corinthians 6:14 encouraging only marriage by the faithful to the faithful. This is why there are numerous references in the old testament for Israel not to marry foreign women (because they worshipped false gods – Deuteronomy 7:1-4, I kings 11:1-4, Ezra 9:1-4). Yet, this denounced behavior is what frequently occurs today, when people rashly marry. In Genesis 6:3, God limits the duration of man’s years, because of the sinfulness they were replicating through intermarrying of the faithful and unfaithful.
In Genesis 6:4-5, in some Bible translations there is the term “Nephilim” used. Others use the term giants. This word is very important to examine, for along with “sons of God” it is widely misinterpreted. Some have said the Nephilim are evil angels, others aliens, and others even more fantastical imaginations. The term Nephilim is the Hebrew word H5303 (Strong’s Hebrew and Greek Dictionaries). It is used only in Genesis 6:4 and Numbers 13:33. It means bully or tyrant and some translators have also suggested it means giant. The root of the word is H5307 and means to fall, fail, lost, inferior, perish, rot. Notice the root says nothing about giants. One more Hebrew word: The phrase “mighty men” (H1368) means what you think it does, but it also can mean tyrant. In context, tyrant is the likely meaning. Thus, what Genesis 6:4 is saying could be seen as the following: “In those days, corrupt bullies were on the earth. These resulted from faithful people marrying sinful people.” Thus, in verses 5-6, God is disappointed that he created man for they had become a terrible, sinful, and harmful group originating from the perpetuation of sin in unauthorized marriages.
In further consideration that the above is a proper understanding considering the context and grammar used, Numbers 13:33 must be examined as well. The context of Numbers is the Israel coming to the land of Canaan and sending in spies. There they see Nephilim and sons of Anak. Previously it has been seen that Nephilim are or could be sinful tyrants. The sons of Anak literally were giants, huge men of that land. Is it not likely that any man, giant or not, can be corrupted by sin? Is it not further possible that a Giant could therefore be tyrants or “sons of God”? The latter part of vs. 32 states: “and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size”. Continuing to verse 33, “There we also saw the Nephilim.” Such a construction would make no sense at all if the term Nephilim means giant. It would have the effect of saying, “We saw giants, and we also saw giants.” This set of verses further confirms the proper understanding of Nephilim as sinful bullies/tyrants and not giants, fitting properly in context with Genesis 6.
Returning to Genesis 6, proper understanding of the text can be derived. When faithful people of God marry the sinful people of the world, a frequent result is corruption. Such corruption when tolerated and repeated over and over results in desecrated purity. God did not desire this in his world and He flooded the world and started it again. Was such a result unexpected by God? No. Did it make him sad? Yes. However, through this action, he left man with an example of what happens when such occurrences are tolerated. Many would still not fully learn the lesson, but he would no longer have an excuse not to know better. Still, God had a plan of forgiveness for all of mankind’s disobedience. It would come through Jesus Christ.
Today, God has not changed. He still desires man to be pure and holy and marry only to the faithful. However, God has given instruction to those who have faltered in this regard. Paul tells the Corinthians in I Corinthians 7:12-14, to stay with their unbelieving mates. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). God has made marriage holy. Peter tells the wives of such a marriage (obedient of God to the disobedient) to live godly lives so that they might influence their mates. Husbands should do the same. Sadly, this won’t “fix” the problems in a marriage. All marriages are going to experience earthly distractions resulting in difficulties. However, true Christians have the tools at their disposal to get past the problems. They are willing to use the Word of God, to make things right for themselves, in the sight of God, and for the upbringing of their children. A marriage which is poorly conceived from the beginning and pays no attention to the faith of the marital partners will likely go through much frustration if it is to survive. In the interest of all parties, do not rush into marriage or choose a marriage based upon attributes which shift like the sand. Take time and make the proper considerations before you ask yourself the question, “Should I marry her?”