Can a Husband Injure His Wife Without Knowing It?
Cuts her out of the discussion – When you act as if she isn’t even there or wouldn’t understand what you’re talking about, she feels a part of herself that is detached. Husbands cannot forget that wives see the marriage as a partnership…in every part of life…even the parts she may never fully understand. She wants to be involved.
Fails to notice the difference she makes – A woman doesn’t want to be appreciated for only what she does. She wants you to appreciate who she is, but more importantly, she wants you to admit that she does a lot. Whether it’s decorating the house or making sure the clothes are clean…or that you have your favorite soap…a woman wants to know what she does is valued by you.
Underestimates the small stuff – You only said “this” but it was “THIS” to her. Sometimes what we think are no big deal is a big deal to her and when we do not pay attention to it, it hurts her. You may even think it’s funny that she gets so worked up over the little things. And, She may even laugh out loud about it. But, oftentimes, she is laughing instead of screaming or crying because she is building a wall of protection around her heart each time your not serious about what matters to her. So, the key here is that you can’t talk to her like you might talk to another guy. She hears and feels deeper than you do and our words and actions can and do hurt.
Speaks with curtness – When you talk down to her, as if she’s somehow less than you, you bruise her spirit. Deeply. And, you know that she is not below you, she is your equal. God created Eve from the side of man. So, when you talk to her, remember husbands that sometimes she cannot tell by your tone and the way you talk to her, if you are serious or joking. What you may think is a normal way to speak, can tear her up inside.
Corrects her as she’s talking – This could be finishing her sentences or speaking for her in the company of others. Your wife has a mind all her own and when we do such things, your wife feels demeaned and devalued when you present her to others as if she can’t compete with you in original thought…which you know isn’t true (My wife is much smarter than me). So, stop trying to read her mind and let her express what she wants to say.
Acts suspicious – Don’t misunderstand or misapply this one. When you hide information, even when you think you’re protecting her, you cause her to question your motive. When you protect your calendar…or act like you are upset at the question “What did you do today?” or “What did you talk about?” or “Who was that?” when someone calls, it gives her an eerie feeling something is wrong. And, that hurts. Try being more open instead of mysterious. She is always interested in the other half of herself.
Admires other women over her – She sees you looking. She may even understand your highly visual make-up. But still, it hurts her when a glance becomes a stare…especially when it happens everywhere you go…all the time. Husbands, control your eyes. Remember, you are married and therefore, you prefer your spouse to all the other women of the world. You cleave to her, not to a strange woman. You know, a wife’s heart, no matter how independent or strong she is, is tender in places. Lots of places. And, she can bruise easily in some areas of her life…especially the places that involve the people she loves the most…like you, her husband. A husband who understands this is more careful in how he speaks and responds to her. And, most husbands I know would never injure their wife knowingly. They want to be her protector. But husbands, when we don’t realize the damage we are doing to our wives emotions, we invalidate every desire we have to be her defender. And consider this: What other ways, besides these seven, do husbands injure their wives, without even knowing it?